


Glass Marble

by lialin1021



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Matchmaking, Oblivious Baekhyun, Past Unhealthy Relationship, Publisher Baekhyun, Relationship Issues, Slow Build, Teacher Jongdae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 23:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15784563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lialin1021/pseuds/lialin1021
Summary: It seems like everybody wants Baekhyun to date Jongdae. Well, except for Baekhyun and also probably Jongdae but Baekhyun is not so sure about that.





	Glass Marble

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everybody! So this is long. It’s also something I’ve worked on for a long time, changed it numerous times, and thought about like all the time. I’ve come to cherish it a lot, it holds a special place in my writer’s heart, and that’s why I hope it will bring joy to other people as well.
> 
> Thank you so much to anyone who will read this, it means a lot to me. Kudos and comments are very, very appreciated! You can also reach me on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/lialin1021) if you ever want to talk about my fics or writing or reading or anything!

 

It’s hot. The temperature in the room is slowly getting higher. Powerful rays of sunshine filter through the leaves of a tree standing right outside the window and then come into the room to warm it even more. There is no way to escape the heat and the stuffiness which only make you sleepy and drowsy.

Baekhyun buries himself under the blanket even more and closes his eyes. He’s too lazy to turn on the air conditioning even though everything feels so sticky and torrid. He would much rather not move at all and be hot than do any kind of physical activity. Even something as simple as walking a few steps seems too demanding.

The only thing he’s capable of right now is petting his dog, Mongryong, who has hidden under the blanket together with him. It’s nice to share the fatigue from all of the sultriness with someone. It would actually be perfect if only Baekhyun could fall asleep just as easily as Mongryong.

He sticks out one arm which immediately starts to scrabble around for his phone. When he finally finds it, the head comes out of the blanket as well.

No new messages or calls, just as expected. He shouldn’t have told everyone to leave him alone and not bother him when he’s visiting his family. But then again, he’s aware how much it would bug him if his friends only spoke about their new exciting experiences or his co-workers asked for advice. Those things would definitely make him want to pack his bags and get on the train back to Seoul so it’s much better like this, without any kind of temptation.

He turns around to lie on his stomach which gets a cute little sleepy whine out of Mongryong but it doesn’t seem like it woke him up. Baekhyun is seriously so jealous of such an ability to sleep. Everything would pass much quicker if he could just sleep through all of it.

Baekhyun loves his family, he really does, and he enjoys spending time with them. But he’s lived in Seoul for the past 8 years of his life; therefore, coming back to this hometown simply feels strange. It’s been like that for a long time. The peacefulness always hits him hard and not in a good way. He’s used to the rush and madness of a big city so being in his hometown is mostly awfully uneventful and tedious.

“Baekhyun, could you please come downstairs for a minute?”

His mom’s voice cuts through the quiet and stillness.

Should he pretend that he’s sleeping? Just imagining the long way from his room to the ground floor makes him weary. His bed feels so safe and nice.

Shaking his head, Baekhyun persuades his limps to cooperate and gets to his feet. He stands in front of his bed like that for a few seconds because his head can’t stop spinning due to the sudden change of body position. Low blood pressure can really suck from time to time and the hot weather isn’t making it any better.

After petting Mongryong one more time, he unwillingly leaves the room and sets out to the stairs which suddenly seem like this huge obstacle he needs to defeat.

“I’m in the kitchen so come here, okay?”

He lets out an unintelligible noise which was supposed to indicate understanding but sounds more like croaking of someone in pain. He comes down from the last stair and sluggishly saunters to the kitchen, yawning and stretching.

“You’re here, sweetie, great, please just go quickly say hello to the living room and then come help me with the trays,” his mom sends him a blinding smile.

Baekhyun, still drowsy and worn-out, obeys without any objection though it seems weird to him why there are the trays with various food in the kitchen and why is he supposed to greet someone. He cannot recall his mom telling him about their relatives coming to visit or any kind of guests but it is also entirely possible that he has simply failed to remember it.

As he enters the living room, the fresh, cool air from the air conditioning blows lightly on him and it’s so pleasant that he almost forgets the purpose with which he came there.

“You must be Baekhyun, right? Nice to finally meet you,” an unfamiliar female voice interrupts his sweet time of enjoying the sudden nice coldness.

Baekhyun recovers and collects himself at that moment, quickly bowing in the general direction from which the voice came from. It’s only when he straightens up that he finally notices the visitors he was asked to greet.

First he notes an older woman, probably around his mom’s age, who’s sitting on their sofa in a nice pastel summer dress and with a glass of water in her hand. She’s smiling at him brightly as if she is expecting something from him… oh, yes, he should probably answer her.

“Nice to meet you too,” he says, his smile rather stiff. He has never seen this person in his life. His gut is telling him that there is something really, really strange about the whole situation.

Nevertheless, she immediately lights up even more and her eyes quickly flick to the right. Baekhyun follows the object of her attention and slightly startles when he sees another person sitting in the armchair.

It is a young man, definitely still in his 20s, with his hands placed on his knees in a very formal way. Overall, his whole posture shows that he’s not exactly comfortable. He swiftly notices that Baekhyun is looking at him and bows his head a little, smiling bashfully.

Seeing that man dressed in a blue summer shirt and grey shorts and his almost meticulously neat hair makes Baekhyun painfully aware of his own appearance. His hair is dishevelled and probably sticking out to every possible direction. All the sweating due to the hot weather made his ratty white t-shit he’s had since high school stick to his torso. And don’t even get him started on the black sport shorts with a layer of Mongryong’s hair on it.

“I’m just… I need to help my mom,” he makes a quick turn and disappears back to the kitchen.

That was seriously so embarrassing, he couldn’t even properly look at them without feeling out of place, and that’s horrible because he’s used to always being tidy and dashing. He covers his face with his hands for a moment and tries to forget the embarrassment. And then there is his mother, beaming at him as if it is the happiest day of her life.

“Why couldn’t you tell me sooner that we were going to have guests? I would have put something more decent on! Who are they anyway?” he says, still shaking the embarrassment off.

His mom loses her smile at that very moment and quickly moves to the trays on their kitchen countertop to rearrange the already perfect looking food.

“Mom?”

She then turns to him with a guilty expression which he has seen only a couple of times in his life. One example was when she put cucumbers to the fried rice and forgot to warn him. Baekhyun thinks that there can’t be anything worse she could have possibly done so he calms down a bit before she starts speaking.

“I didn’t tell you because… well, I thought… I was pretty much sure that you would have run away and hidden somewhere.”

Baekhyun gives her his best puzzled look. “And why would I do that?”

“Because I met Mrs. Kim, the women you’ve just met, in a meeting for parents who are dealing with the fact that their child told them they are gay. It’s basically a support group and –”

“What?! You go to such a thing?! When were you planning to tell me?”

Baekhyun feels like he’s going to explode any minute now because – why hasn’t she mentioned anything about something so important before? Why does she need a group of strangers to talk to about her son’s sexuality? It makes no sense.

“Baekhyun, please, lower your voice, we have company,” his mother sends him a pleading look and takes a deep breath before she continues. “I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I was afraid that you were going to hate me because of it.”

“Why would I…?”

“Your father took it well and I thought I did too but I soon realized that my process of accepting your sexuality would be much longer. I didn’t want to tell you, disappoint you or make you worry about our relationship so I searched for a place where I could deal with all the mixed emotions and confusion. I found that group and it helped me so much to hear all the stories from other parents and their advice. Some of them even invite their children. They explain to us some things that are generally truly hard to talk about. It has given me so much and I still go there because it is a safe place full of love and acceptance.”

Baekhyun looks at the happy expression on his mother’s face and realizes he could never be mad at her for not telling him for long. All she wanted to do was to protect him. It still hurts him that she had to go through a hard time because of him but at the same time, he feels so incredibly loved that it’s difficult to control his emotions.

“I could never hate you because of any of that. I completely understand it must have been hard on you after I had come out to you… but I just wish you would have told me,” he holds his mother’s hand and gives her a reassuring smile.

“I know, sweetie, I know. I think I needed a little push from another direction to finally tell you. And now we can talk about it as much as you want, I promise.”

A little push? What kind of a little push was she talking about? And that’s when Baekhyun realizes he’s completely forgotten about their visitors.

“Okay, fine, now I get that you met that woman in that group but why is she here and… wait, that’s her son in there with her, right?”

His mother is back to looking apologetic – and oh no, that is definitely not a good sign.

“Yes, that’s her son. His name is Jongdae, you are the same age actually, and he is a very sweet and incredibly nice and kind person.”

“Wait, wait, wait, why are you talking about him like that?” Baekhyun starts panicking right away because he can feel it. He just doesn’t want to admit it to himself before he gets a clear confirmation from his mother. “What’s going on, Mom?”

“Sweetie, don’t get mad, please, Mrs. Kim and I were just talking about how sad it is to see our sons alone and how nice it would be if you could find someone. It felt like a logical conclusion at that point so we decided to introduce you to each other.”

Baekhyun’s whole world is spinning. If his mother didn’t hold his hands, he would be out of the door.

“You set me up on a date with a guy I have never met and thought it would be a good idea not to tell me in advance? This is way too ridiculous! Does dad know about this?!”

“He does and he said he would be thrilled if you found some nice, good guy. He wants you to be happy and so do I. That’s why I want you to meet Jongdae.”

That’s it. Baekhyun is out of here and never coming back. He also wants to get his mother checked by someone. Does she even realize which century she lives in? He thought arranged marriages and trying to find a partner for your child were way past their generation.

“You’re not going to run away, Byun Baekhyun,” his mom says as if she could actually read his mind. She squeezes his hands more tightly. “I simply want you to meet him and if, at the end of the day, you are not interested in him, I won’t force you into anything. Just go meet him and see for yourself, please.”

This is nuts and she must know it. Baekhyun wants to believe that a “I’m joking” phrase will come soon or that he will discover that this is a hidden camera and all of this is a prank. However, he’s familiar with his mother looking sincere and imploring and this is one of those times. If he says no, he will look like a bad son. She’s not asking him for that much – or at least she thinks she isn’t, given the information she has.

Baekhyun knows he has been defeated and his mother is aware of it too judging from his expression.

“Great! You’ll like him, I promise, he really is a great guy. Now go grab a tray and the water decanter, they’ve been waiting for us for way too long.”

~

It has been only half an hour (which feels like an eternity) but Baekhyun has already learnt that Jongdae is a teacher at a local elementary school, that he owns a car, that his family has a nice house which Jongdae’s going to inherit one day because his brother is already settled well with his family, a wife and two little girls, one 5 years old and the second 8 years old.

He has also learnt that Jongdae is kind, calm, responsible, dependable, well-behaved, punctual, clean, smart, easy-going yet dutiful, that he loves children (Baekhyun thought that he better since he spends so much time teaching them), and that all the children love him and also their parents like and respect him and his mom always hears so many praises for her beloved son.

Then Baekhyun kind of stopped listening because it seemed pointless. During the whole chat, Jongdae has said only one word – yes – and that was when his mom asked him if he still went to gym at least once a week. Better than Baekhyun who hasn’t said anything, his mom has been doing all the talking and excessive praising.

To Baekhyun the whole thing seems like a well prepared performance of two mothers who love their sons very much and want the best for them. It would be touching, really, if their idea of what is best corresponded with what their sons actually want. Now, Baekhyun couldn’t speak for Jongdae, he has just met that guy, but as far as he is concerned, he wants none of this.

“Oh, I almost forgot, I promised to show you our garden. Let’s do it now since you’re already here, shall we?”

How convenient, Baekhyun thinks to himself. He wonders if his mother realizes how transparent she’s being.

“What a great idea!” Mrs. Kim claps her hands. A poor act but at least she is trying. Baekhyun has to give it to her. “You boys probably don’t care about such a thing so you can stay and talk, you obviously have so much in common that you must be dying to talk alone without your old, boring mothers.”

Before any of the young men has a chance to contradict the statement, the mothers happily disappear through the sliding door into the garden.

Baekhyun imagines how they are rubbing their hands in glee since their masterful plan is working so well. It’s kind of sweet but, honestly, mostly just hilarious and he feels like laughing at their ridiculous behaviour and plotting against their own sons. That is until he realizes that he’s been left with a total stranger completely alone.

His mind is racing, trying to figure out some witty remark or funny comment which would not be entirely out of place or offensive. Plus, he’s got no idea if that other guy takes this whole thing seriously. the last thing he would like to do is hurt his feelings by saying something stupid.

“Which part of this is the most hilarious to you?”

Baekhyun turns his head, surprised not by the sudden question but by its content. “I’m sorry, what?”

“For me it’s the fact that this kind of setting up used to be a norm in a time when homosexuality was treated like some kind of disease. And here we are now: homosexuality is still treated like an abnormality, of course, but at least nobody can publicly lynch us or throw us into prison and some people are more accepting, including our mothers who are now using the old ways from those ancient times to find a mate for their son. The paradox is just mind-blowing, don’t you think so?”

Jongdae looks at Baekhyun, obviously amused based on the many little wrinkles around the corner of his sparkling eyes. Baekhyun can’t help himself but to start chuckling.

“Yeah, you’re right. From the historical and sociological point of view that would probably be the most hilarious thing. Yet, as an average human being, I need to be a bit selfish and say that the most hilarious part for me is that my own mother has decided to set me up on a date without telling me a in advance, not even asking for my opinion.” Baekhyun, in need of some energy booster, reaches for a piece of kimbap. “I was totally unprepared to meet you today.”

“I kind of figured that out by myself but thanks for confirming my conclusion,” Jongdae sniggers and stretches in the armchair as if he can finally relax a bit.

Baekhyun notices it right away and that sort of behaviour has a completely opposite effect on him: he becomes tense. Even though this Jongdae person finds the situation hilarious, that doesn’t mean he can’t also expect something else from it.

“Look, I feel like I should be honest with you.” The awkwardness is excruciating, and Baekhyun hates how clammy his hands get. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now. Well, actually, not only right now, it is more of a long-term thing, something I’m pretty sure about, so…” he trails off and starts panicking because he has no idea where he was going with that sentence.

“Does your mom know?” Jongdae doesn’t even blink. As if it’s no news for him.

 “No… no, she doesn’t.” Baekhyun is hit with a pang of guilt.

“I see,” Jongdae hums. “Well, maybe you should tell her since she obviously wants you to find someone and she seems pretty determined about that. It would save you a lot of trouble.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Despite the affirmative, Baekhyun knows he won’t tell his mother. He doesn’t want her to worry about him since there’s nothing to worry about. Well, at least now there isn’t.

“What’s the reason, by the way? And I’m asking out of pure curiosity.”

Baekhyun scrutinizes Jongdae’s expression. That man is serious about this. He seriously expects him to answer that.

“I’m sorry but I hardly even know you, how do you expect me to talk about such a personal thing and share it with someone I’ve just met?”

Jongdae smiles at that. “I’ve always found it to be easier to talk about problems to strangers rather than to people I’m close with. It’s like keeping all the troubles bottled up so others won’t worry about you and then letting them explode when it seems safe and you can’t hurt anyone or make anyone worry with your words.”

 _It must be because of the heat but that all is making a perfect sense_ , Baekhyun thinks to himself.

“But I don’t want to pressure you. If you feel different about it, it’s completely fine.”

“No… no, I’m the same.”

Baekhyun thinks back to those times – those times when he was at the lowest point of his life, broken and desperate. He couldn’t possibly talk to his family about it and he couldn’t even talk to his friends, even though they knew most of the story. Yet somehow, it was no problem for him to rant to his neighbour who found him sitting on the rooftop with a bottle of beer in hand.

“Do you want to guess first?”

Jongdae seems to understand that it is not a question but a request.

“Well, let me see… there are many possible reasons why someone wouldn’t want to be in a relationship. Fear of commitment, desire to experiment, extreme workload, bad experience from the previous relationship, or feeling like you are not prepared for it. Or there could be no particular reason at all… you just don’t want to be in a relationship so you are not in one.”

Baekhyun nods as if he is satisfied with the presented list and ready to choose the winner.

“For me, it’s the past relationship. The whole thing but especially the way it ended made me realize that I don’t want to be in another relationship because it’s just not worth it.”

The way Jongdae raises his eyebrow is more impactful than any actual words could ever be.

“When my ex was breaking up with me, he told me that he had expected me to be more fun in our relationship. But instead of that I had been insecure, anxious, controlling, and just overall exhausting to be with. He ended our two years together with those exact words and moved out of our apartment.”

The smile on Baekhyun’s lips is clearly bitter. “I know I give off a certain easy-going vibe and that it is appealing and maybe even exciting but I’m just destined to disappoint all the expectations that come with it.”

Now that the monologue is over, Baekhyun looks at Jongdae and Jongdae looks at Baekhyun. It’s a sad, sad thing because they both know there is nothing to be said that could help in any way.

Jongdae realizes he could say that Baekhyun’s ex is a dick, that Baekhyun’s is not destined to disappoint everyone, that it doesn’t make sense to avoid having a relationship because of it. Yet none of that would matter, none of that would change anything. And as for Baekhyun, he realizes exactly the same things – and that’s even sadder since he’s the one with the bigger power to do something about it.

“So what about you? Do you want to be in a relationship?”

The shift in the conversation feels forced yet welcome at the same time.

“I do, actually. It’s not like I desperately want to be in one but I often find myself thinking about how it would be nice to have someone next to me, someone I could love and who would love me back.”

It sounds like a nice fairytale story. Nothing complicated, just simple. Baekhyun envies that, he hasn’t thought about relationships and love like that for a long, long time.

“But I also realize now it’s not the right time for me to be in a relationship.” Jongdae pauses for a bit, wanting to make sure Baekhyun is listening to him. “When my mom told me about you and about what she was planning with your mom, I didn’t tell her that. I should have but I didn’t.”

“Are you going to let your troubles explode in front of a stranger?” Baekhyun asks. They both chuckle.

“That’s right. But it wouldn’t be entirely correct to call them troubles. It’ just a choice I have to make and let’s just say that if I was deciding only based on what I want, it would be simple – and it would also make my mom cry.”

It’s a new side of Jongdae Baekhyun sees right now. One of many he’s been able to observe throughout the conversation. It makes Jongdae seem like a small glass marble Baekhyun once had as a kid – it never seized to amaze him how different it looked under each specific light. He hadn’t been able to stop looking at it and playing with it until he lost it.

“I was offered a new job – in Seoul,” Jongdae says it with such a thrill in his voice. “I would teach at an elementary school for underprivileged children. It has been my dream for the longest time and it is such a meaningful and amazing opportunity.”

“That’s awesome, congratulations!”

Baekhyun wants to slap himself right away. He had vaguely known that it is not that easy for Jongdae to say yes but he still had to say that and wasn’t able to contain the joy and excitement he felt for some reason. Jongdae doesn’t seem to mind though, he even looks pleasantly surprised.

“Thanks. You’re the first person I’ve told. It feels nice.” Jongdae smiles and appears to be lost in his own world for the second, still processing all the emotions that come with all this. “Anyway, accepting the offer would mean moving to Seoul and leaving my family… especially my mom since we have a really close relationship and she worries about me a lot. It might seem weird, I know, people move all the time for work, but for me it is a really big decision to make.”

Baekhyun nods, not really understanding from his point of view but still understanding in some sense of that word.

“So, since the explosion of troubles and emotions is over, we should figure out what we’ll tell our mothers when they ask us.”

“Yeah, yeah, we should,” Baekhyun says. He has basically forgotten about that. “I think we should keep it simple. I will say that we had a nice talk but you are not my type. You?”

“Well, I can’t lie to my mom so… I will also say that we had a nice talk and that it was nice meeting you but it seems like we didn’t really click when it comes to a possible future relationship.”

Jongdae has this glint in his eyes. It’s hard to miss as he lets his gaze fixed on Baekhyun but it’ still pretty fleeting so when Baekhyun wants to catch it again and examine it more it’s gone. That fills him with some kind of strange emptiness which he doesn’t understand. However, it strongly reminds him of the emptiness he felt when he lost his precious glass marble.

~

Baekhyun tilts his head back, watching the cloudless sky above him. He has to squint because of the blinding light which hurts his eyes but it is worth it – the sky is so peaceful and serene that it also sends some of that serenity into Baekhyun’s mind, which is something he never experiences in Seoul. There doesn’t seem to be enough time to stop and watch the sky.

Mongryong is sniffing around a nearby post, the leash around his neck not allowing him to go any further than that, but he doesn’t seem to mind, simply happy to be outside.

“Baekhyun, hi!”

The addressed man looks around, his vision temporarily slightly impaired due to staring into the sun for such a long time. He narrows his eyes more, trying to spot a familiar figure and hoping that it is not one of his former classmates. He hates reunions.

And then he sees someone getting closer. He recognizes that person immediately even though they have met only once and that was a week ago.

“Hi, Jongdae,” he says and pulls the dog leash so that Mongryong would come closer to him.

To be honest, he didn’t expect to meet Jongdae again. When they were parting ways and he saw him leaving with his mother, he thought that it was quite a pleasant encounter, one he would definitely remember, but that was it. Thinking back, he should have predicted that it is highly possible for them to run into each other at least once again since this is a small town after all.

“Nice to see you again. And who’s this cutie?”

Jongdae squats and starts petting Baekhyun’s dog excitedly.

“That’s Mongryong,” says Baekhyun and watches how Mongryong enjoys the attention and admiration – that dog has always been an attention seeker.

“Nice to meet you, Mongryong, I’m Jongdae,” Jongdae takes Mongryong’s paw in his hand and shakes it while petting him on the head.

Baekhyun makes a note in his head that Jongdae’s mom should have also mentioned that Jongdae likes to treat pets as human beings when she was making a list of all the praiseworthy things about her son.

“If you have time, what about I buy us some ice cream, what do you say?”

Under normal circumstances, Baekhyun would turn down such an offer – it is a part of his defence mechanism. However, Jongdae is aware that Baekhyun is not interested so his offer should be meant only in a friendly way, and therefore it loses its dreadfulness.

“Sure, why not,” Baekhyun says.

He has to smile when Jongdae beams at him.

There is a small shop nearby with tables and parasols in front. When Jongdae disappears inside, Baekhyun sits down in the shadow and lets Mongryong hide under the chair, catching his breath and enjoying getting away from the intense heat.

There is nobody around, all the residents probably hidden in their homes in front of a fan. Just one old man goes past on his bike and smiles at Baekhyun. It is a habit of the older people to greet or at least smile at everyone, even at people they don’t know – and that doesn’t happen that often around here.

Jongdae comes out of the shop with two ice creams in one hand and a bowl filled with water in the other. He puts the bowl right in front of Mongryong’s muzzle and the dog immediately throws himself into it.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun says when Jongdae hands him one of the ice creams.

“You’re welcome.” Jongdae is already licking his while happily shuffling his feet under the table like a small kid. “So how did it go with your mom?”

“It went fine, I guess. She just told me that I couldn’t possibly tell so soon if someone was my type or not but she didn’t insist on another date so I think she came to terms with it. What about you?”

“Pretty much the same. She wasn’t happy, probably already preparing the wedding, but she didn’t try to pressure me into anything.”

Baekhyun snickers. The preparations of a wedding don’t seem to be so far away from the truth. Their mothers really believed it would work and probably already lived in their own world where their sons stayed together happily ever after.

“When are you going back to Seoul?” Jongdae asks, interrupting Baekhyun’s thoughts.

“Tomorrow, finally.”

That answer seems to amuse Jongdae, judging from his chuckling. “Why finally?”

“It’s too peaceful for me here. I can’t wait to get back to my job and see my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I like spending time with my family and I’m glad my mom forces me to take a vacation and come here but after some time, I start to miss the things I’m used to.”

“I can understand that. So do you like your job?”

That makes Baekhyun smile. “I do. As crazy as it might sound, I love my job.”

“Why would it sound crazy?”

“Well, most people don’t like their jobs. They work just because they need the money. So when I tell them that I love my job and that I don’t mind spending crazy hours there, they usually don’t believe me or tell me that I should find some other activity and stop being a workaholic.”

Jongdae is shaking his head while finishing his ice cream. “Those people are the crazy ones. I think it is amazing that you love your job and that you should really cherish that. But don’t overwork yourself. Because that would be another extreme that’s not good.”

“Don’t worry, I know my limits.”

They continue to sit there in silence until Baekhyun finishes his own ice cream. They decide to part ways because Jongdae has promised to meet some friends and Baekhyun’s mom needs help with the big dinner she’s making since her son is leaving the next day. Jongdae pets Mongryong one more time and then proceeds to look at Baekhyun.

It is a strange, contemplating look and Baekhyun thinks that maybe he should say something to help Jongdae express himself. However, before he is able to do so, the other man flashes him a radiant smile.

“Okay, I have to go. Have a nice trip back to Seoul and I’ll see you around when you visit again.”

Baekhyun nods and that is it. He tugs at Mongryong’s leash and makes him turn so they can set out back home.

 

**~ Two months later ~**

Baekhyun takes a sip of his coffee and winces immediately because it’s just too bitter. Normally, he wouldn’t drink a black coffee even if someone offered to pay him money, yet now he’s sitting in his office after working till 10 the previous day and sleeping for four hours and there’s nothing better to keep him awake than this huge mug of disgusting black coffee with neither milk nor sugar. He wonders how people can drink this on regular basis.

It is when his office phone rings that he concludes there are worse things than black coffee – such as annoying, incompetent co-workers who bother him with every little problem they have instead of trying to figure it out on their own. That is why he has been thinking about disconnecting the phone for the longest time because nobody else calls him on it anyway.

“Better make this quick, I’ve got shitload of work to do.”

“Well, that’s not very nice of you to talk to your own mother like that.”

Baekhyun almost drops the receiver and automatically straightens his back and sits properly as if his mother could actually see him.  There are also already beads of sweat on his forehead due to the sudden shock and panic.

“H-Hi, Mom, I’m so sorry, I thought it was one of my co-worker.” Now he actually wishes it was one of them. “Why are you calling me on my office phone?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t have picked up your own phone if it had been me calling and I really needed to talk to you.”

Now, Baekhyun would love to oppose that accusation and tell his mother that she is wrong and he is an exemplary son who always picks up when his mother calls him and is happy to hear her. It’s a shame that she’s got him all figured out and such a lie wouldn’t stand a chance.

“You know I have a lot of work to do.” It is the lamest excuse ever and he knows it. “So what is it that you need to talk to me about?”

“It’s nothing serious, don’t worry, it’s just a little favour. Do you remember Jongdae, the sweet young man I introduced you to a few months ago?”

Of course that Baekhyun remembers – who could forget about their own mother playing a matchmaker. “Yes, I do,” he answers kind of reluctantly because what kind of a favour could his mother want from him that requires mentioning his sort of a blind date.

“Well, he has moved to the city because of a job and it seems like he doesn’t really know anybody there so his mother asked me if you could contact him and maybe show him around the city and visit some nice places with him. It would mean a lot to her.”

There is a hint of a headache Baekhyun feels. He cannot decide if it is due to his lack of sleep or his mother – but the latter seems to be the main cause right now.

“Mom, I thought we talked about it – he is not my type and I don’t see it going anywhere so would you just please stop trying to force me to go out with him.”

“It is not like that, sweetie, I promise. I heard what you said and don’t want to force you into anything. But his mom was truly sad and worried when she talked to me and I want to help her because I know how it feels to worry about your child.”

It seems like emotional blackmail to Baekhyun because how is he supposed to say no after hearing something like that. However, he decides that he should not yield. Just the thought of having to call Jongdae and act like they are friends makes him uncomfortable. And he doesn’t want to be forced to do anything he has a wrong feeling about.

“I get that, Mom, but Jongdae is an adult and I believe that he can take care of himself. I managed to do so alone as well and I was much younger than him at that time.”

“I know that, sweetie, and you did great.” Then there is silence and the only thing that can be heard is his mother’s one deep sigh. “It’s just that Jongdae’s mother is not really worried about him taking care of himself. She said that she was worried about him losing his smile. And at that point I knew exactly what she meant. You met Jongdae, you saw how bright and full of life he is. He seems like a person with big dreams, high hopes, and all the positivity in the world. But living in a big city can change that. I know it, I’ve seen it, and it would be such a shame to see someone like Jongdae become deprived of those wonderful qualities.”

His mother didn’t have to say it. Baekhyun knew she meant him when she said she had seen it. He doesn’t necessarily agree that it was all caused by living in a big city but there is some truth to that as well. He would be a fool to deny it.

Nevertheless, he still doesn’t see what kind of a role he should play in saving Jongdae from dangers and traps of a big city. He is no mentor and he is definitely no hero.

“I understand that, Mom, but I’m afraid that spending a few nights out with him wouldn’t change anything. It is better for him to find some real friends and not to be with someone who was ordered to do so by his mother. And I’m sure that Jongdae would sense it and wouldn’t appreciate that it was you and his mother who plotted this thing. I’m really sorry but I just don’t see this thing happening.”

His mom is not speaking after that and it makes Baekhyun feel like an asshole. Why is it so hard for him to agree to one or two meetings with Jongdae? It is not like that guy is completely awful or unpleasant. And it would be just taking a walk for a while, maybe visiting some restaurant or coffee shop and asking him how he’s doing. There shouldn’t be anything terrifying or horrible about it, right?

Yet there is something that is stopping Baekhyun from doing so. It makes him also truly adamant and determined not to agree to anything his mother has been proposing so far.

“If you don’t see this happening then I can’t do anything about it. As I said, I’m not forcing you into anything.” Baekhyun truly hopes that the disappointment in her voice is only his imagination. “Well, I’m sorry I bothered you. I’ll let you get back to your work. But promise me that you will call soon, your father wants to hear you as well, okay?”

“I promise,” Baekhyun says and they both know his parents will have to call him themselves if they want to speak to him.

“Great. Bye, sweetie, and talk to you soon.”

After replacing the receiver, Baekhyun takes another sip of his coffee and it tastes even more bitter than it did before.

~

That evening Baekhyun arrives from work to his small yet cosy apartment at eight. He is completely drained from work, as per usual, but he knows that he will not go to bed right away. There is too much adrenaline and caffeine in his system – it keeps him going and does not let him rest.

Therefore, he opts for putting on some comfortable clothes, opening a bottle of his favourite white wine, and sprawling out on his sofa. A perfect way how to wrap up an exhausting day like this one.

Yet, for some reason, he still feels kind of restless. He turns his head and looks at his briefcase with a stack of manuscripts from work which he is supposed to read. There is still a lot of time for that though. He is actually ahead of the schedule so that cannot be the reason.

He purses his lips in concentration, trying to figure out what exactly is subconsciously bothering him.

Replaying the whole day in his head, he takes the glass of wine from the coffee table and brings it closer to his lips – and that is when it hits him.

He is feeling guilty about the talk he had with his mom. Although she technically only meant well, he turned her suggestion down rather abruptly.

But wasn’t it his right to do so? He did not feel comfortable about it so he said no. He probably should have given it more thought but it would not have changed anything. Baekhyun is just not interested in being a baby-sitter and imposing himself on someone who most likely does not need his help.

Jongdae is an adult and can take care of himself. And if not, if he is not able to handle a big city, he clearly does not belong to the capital and he should move back to the small town he is from. _It is as simple as that, really_ , Baekhyun nods to himself and finally takes a sip of wine.

He is satisfied with that conclusion – for a short period of time.

Then, after no longer than a minute, he takes out his phone and starts searching for one simple thing: _elementary schools for underprivileged children_.

He supposes that there are not that many of them – and (un)fortunately he is right. Well, unfortunately because there should be more institutions like that but fortunately because that will make his research much easier.

However, it still takes him several minutes to find what he is looking for. And that thing is a list of teachers from one of the schools – a list which includes the name Kim Jongdae. Bingo.

There is basically no further information other that his name, except for an email address. But Baekhyun is not looking for any information, he is merely curious, so he certainly does not mind.

Although it would be nice to see Jongdae’s picture there or something like that…

_♫_ _Geomeun goyangi nero nero nero_ _♫_

Baekhyun almost drops the phone on his head as it starts blasting out the loud ringtone. He is so startled and distracted by it that he automatically picks up without thinking.

“Hi, why are you calling so late? Is everything okay?”

“No, it is not. Because I know that you’ve just arrived home and you’re lying on your sofa, drinking, and doing nothing. And that is why I’m standing in front of your door right now and you should open it soon, otherwise I’m breaking in.”

Baekhyun almost gives himself a whiplash as he quickly turns his head to his apartment door in panic.

“And don’t even think about coming up with some poor excuse because I heard that ringtone I’ve been trying to make you change for like three years now through the door.”

The hang up tone ensues.

And it is official, Baekhyun is screwed.

He slowly gets up, involuntary drags his feet to the door and opens it, not even trying to pretend that he is excited about the sudden visit.

The opposite in terms of excitement could be said about his self-invited guest – the man, Baekhyun’s best friend, Kim Minseok, is standing there at his threshold, gleefully beaming at him.

“Don’t frown at me like that, I brought food,” he ruffles Baekhyun’s hair and slips past him into the apartment.

Baekhyun narrows his eyes at that and slowly closes the door. “What kind of food?” he asks because he knows his best friend, the health freak, well.

“Burgers and fries and also a big milkshake only for you if you behave nicely and pretend like you are actually glad to see me.”

It is only when Minseok starts taking out the food on the table that Baekhyun comes to believe him because it is quite unusual that the man would bring him something that unhealthy.

“Of course I’m glad to see you!” he gives Minseok a quick back-hug before throwing himself at the food.

His best friend only laughs at his antics and puts the promised milkshake in front of him which Baekhyun appreciates by smiling at him with his mouth full.

“Is today a cheat day?” Baekhyun asks when he is done chewing.

“Not really but I figured it wouldn’t hurt for once.”

That statement makes Baekhyun pause since it is so unlike Minseok. Even if he feels down, he never lets himself eat junk food. Therefore, his strange behaviour can only mean one thing. “Hyung… why exactly are you here?”

Minseok looks up from his fries, not surprised by that question at all, and gives Baekhyun that kind of a soft look he always does when he is worried about him. “I called Chanyeol and he said that you seemed awfully distracted today so I decided to come and keep you company.”

Baekhyun sighs. That is just like his friends, always worrying and taking care of him. “How typical of him. Why is he not here then?”

“He is meeting some friend from college today and he couldn’t cancel. Why? Do you need two knights in shining armour? One is not enough?”

“How confident of you to call yourself a knight,” Baekhyun scoffs. “And I was simply asking because I know how much he loves cheering other people up.”

“Well, you’re right about that, he is our overgrown cheerleader,” Minseok chuckles and makes Baekhyun laugh as well. After all, who would not laugh at the image of Park Chanyeol in a cheerleading uniform?

As the mood lightens, the two friends continue eating and talking about their day in general – like what they ate, which of their co-workers pissed them off again, what made them happy, and what went well. Just the right mixture of positivity and negativity.

Baekhyun finds himself actually relaxing as he shares some stories about his day and listens to Minseok talk about all kinds of things. As per usual, he did not think he needed something like that, he did not seek company, but in the end it is the thing which has helped him the most.

“I have a fun story to tell you,” Baekhyun suddenly says when they are done eating and he has almost finished his milkshake.

“I’m listening,” Minseok smiles as if he has been waiting for his friend to say that – and he probably really has.

“Well, when I was visiting my mom, she kind of tried to introduce me to someone… to a guy. Although _introduce_ might not be the correct term since she had already marriage plans for us. But that’s not important, I guess,” Baekhyun shakes his head. “Anyway, the situation was so awkward and weird and I just wanted to run way.”

“And was the guy hot?” Minseok quickly interrupts the story.

“Hot?” Baekhyun tilts his head to the left. “I don’t know… probably. I didn’t really pay attention to that, to be honest. I was too busy trying to figure out how to politely tell him that I’m not interested in dating anyone.”

“Fair enough,” his best friend says but it does not seem like he fully trusts him on that. Baekhyun decides against pointing it out. “So how did he take it when you told him that?”

“Well, really well. He did not mind. After all, we’d just met. And at that time he had his own problems and did not want to be involved with someone. Which actually brings the story to the present,” Baekhyun sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “He got a job here in the city, and my mom wants me to show him around and take care of him or whatever. Just spend time with him because his own mother is worried about him and they are friends.”

“And you don’t want to do that,” Minseok correctly guesses.

“Of course I don’t!” Baekhyun vigorously affirms it. “He is an adult! I don’t think he would appreciate it if I hung out with him just because my mother told me to.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Minseok nods. “So why does it bother you?”

That’s the question, Baekhyun wants to say. Because he hasn’t figured it out just yet. For some reason, this Jongdae issue is stuck in his mind and does not want to leave. “I don’t know. It just does. Maybe it’s because I really hate it when my mom tries to set me up.”

“I see. It must really suck that your mom wants you to be happy with some man. Which also means that she accepts your sexuality. Man, you have it rough.”

Baekhyun immediately bites his lip because he realizes how stupid he sounded. And what is worse, he said it in front of Minseok whose family members have not talked to him ever since he came out.

 “I’m sorry,” he apologizes right away. “I didn’t mean to sound like a dick, I just… you know how I hate talking about relationships after… you know…”

Minseok’s expression instantly softens and he squeeze’s Baekhyun hand. “I know. I’m really sorry too. But I want you to realize how lucky you are that your mom is like that. And also, she has no idea what you have gone through so she couldn’t have known.”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m aware of that,” Baekhyun breathes out.

He hates this. He hates how sensitive he gets when it comes to relationships. But he also knows that Minseok understands. And he is there for him as his best friend – and that is what matters the most in the end.

The emotional moment between them is suddenly interrupted by Minseok’s ringtone.

“Sorry about that,” he says quickly and takes out his phone. He seems prepared to refuse the call before he sees who is calling. “Oh, it’s Chanyeol.”

“Answer it,” Baekhyun simply says and smiles to let him know that it is truly okay.

Minseok smiles back at him before answering the call from their mutual friend. And Baekhyun decides to finish his wine while listening to one side of the conversation.

“Chanyeol?”

“Yeah, I’m at Baekhyun’s.”

“What? I can’t hear you properly.”

“Okay, okay, go outside, I’ll wait.”

Minseok and Baekhyun only exchange a knowing look. Of course that Chanyeol is somewhere in a club. No surprise there.

“Are you outside?”

“You want me to put you on speakerphone?”

“Fine, just wait a moment.”

Minseok puts his phone on the coffee table and does as he was told to.

“Can you hear me?”

“Yes, we can hear you, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun answers and thinks to himself that with the volume of his voice they would be able to hear him even without the speakerphone.

“Perfect! Okay, listen to me – I’ve just met the perfect guy for Baekhyun. Future husband material, no doubt about it.”

“What the hell?!” Baekhyun basically cannot believe what he has just heard while Minseok enthusiastically asks: “What’s he like?”

“He’s just the sweetest human being ever! Plus, he is really smart and can make fun of himself and has the same sense of humour as Baekhyun does so that is like totally perfect, isn’t it? Oh, and he is super into books and music too!”

“And what does he look like?” Minseok continues with the questions while Baekhyun has still not collected himself.

“He is really, really, really cute! But hot too! Both things at the same time! And he is similar height as Baekhyun which he will just have to live with.”

Before Minseok can resume asking questions, Baekhyun butts in with a loud: “Wait! Chanyeol, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m not interested in dating?!”

“But I don’t want you to date him! I want you to marry him!”

Baekhyun just gapes at that because he has simply no idea how to retort – and that does not happen to him very often.

“Get his number!” Minseok is back at it, shouting like an overly excited child.

“I’m working on it, trust me! I had to tell you guys because I’m so excited about it! He saved me from some creepy guy who tried to hit on me! We started talking and he is so perfect and I can’t wait for the wedding – oh my God, it’s going to be so beautiful!”

“What the hell, Chanyeol, how drunk are you?” Baekhyun is not capable of saying anything else. His mind has not started working properly yet.

“Doesn’t matter! Just make sure he’s single and get his number, okay? And get home safe! Bye,” Minseok orders their friend and quickly hangs up.

Baekhyun sends Minseok a very unpleasant look and shakes his head. “Why am I even friends with you two?”

“Because we are amazing and you love us,” Minseok chirps and nudges his best friend. “Come on, don’t take it so seriously! Even if he gets the number, you don’t have to use it. We are just joking around.”

Baekhyun wishes he could believe him. He has trouble doing so because his friends have a long record of trying to make him date various people – usually they try to be discreet about it and think that Baekhyun will not notice but he is not stupid and always shuts down their plans as soon as he finds out.

This is the first time that one of them has been so open about it though. He decides not to dwell on it because it does not matter – the result will be the same as in the previous cases. His only hope is that they will not make much fuss about it, especially Chanyeol.

He pours himself another glass of wine and pretends that he does not notice Minseok sniggering right next to him.

 

**~ Ten days later ~**

Baekhyun checks his hair in the mirror in the elevator. It is rather dishevelled as expected but it could be worse – he was actually worried he would be missing some of it since he had to fight the urge to pull it out just half an hour ago.

What happened was that he had to suffer through a call with one of his writers. It was one of those calls where the only thing he gets is a bunch of excuses. Plus, that writer is known to be rather problematic in general and thinks that he’s God’s gift to the world – which he is certainly not. Unfortunately, it is Baekhyun’s job to remind him of that.

Therefore, it is understandable that he did not hesitate at all when he got a message from Chanyeol, asking him if he wanted to grab a cup of coffee in the café downstairs. He deserves that caffeine and also something sweet to go with it.

Chanyeol is not there yet when Baekhyun arrives but he orders anyway (Americano and a piece of cheesecake) and sits at their favourite table. He takes out his phone to check his emails only to find more and more excuses from writers who could not submit their manuscripts on time. Typical. But it is a part of his job to deal with it and he has gotten used to it already.

“Wouldn’t kill them to be on time at least once, huh?” a deep voice suddenly startles Baekhyun.

He looks up to meet the eyes of his friend slash co-worker. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! You’re going to give me a heart attack one day!”

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. But you’re so overly focused when it comes to work that it’s hard not to surprise you.”

Baekhyun would like to contradict that statement but he knows Chanyeol is right so he decides to leave the topic. “So, why did you need coffee? Still hangover from yesterday?”

“Not really hangover, only a little bit more tired than usual,” Chanyeol whines and sprawls out on the table to emphasise his point.

Baekhyun shakes his head and pushes Chanyeol’s arms slightly away from his order. “No wonder, Minseok said you’d left pretty late – and not alone.”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol clears his throat and tries not to blush.

Luckily, he is soon saved by the waiter who brings him his cup of coffee. Chanyeol quickly thanks him and immediately starts drinking it in order to cover his embarrassment.

Baekhyun snickers because seeing his giant friend being so flustered never gets old – but then he notices something and becomes alert right away.

“Why did you order your coffee to go?” he points at the cup.

Chanyeol looks rather confused for a second, slowly realizing the situation. “Oh,” he only breathes out before he collects himself. “Out of habit, I guess. No reason in particular.”

Baekhyun almost believes him – he really does but then Chanyeol starts shaking his leg and makes the table vibrate. And even though he is quite fidgety in general, he only does this when he is nervous or anxious. “Chanyeol? What’s going on?”

“What?” his friend looks startled as he opens his eyes even wider than usual. “Nothing is going on, what should be going on?”

“You’re such a bad liar, Chanyeol.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Really? Then why is your leg shaking?”

“It is not!”

“Yes, it is, I can feel it!”

“You’re just imagining it!”

“Not, I am definitely not! Chanyeol, I swear to God, if you don’t tell me what is going on, I will just get up and –“

“Jongdae!”

Baekhyun, interrupted in the middle of the sentence, stares at Chanyeol who keeps waiving at someone behind him. It takes him a second to realize that the name his friend just said sounds awfully familiar. But it is a common name, right? It must be.

And maybe it really is but the man who suddenly appears at their table is the same Jongdae Baekhyun thought of as soon as he registered the name. What the…

“Hi, Chanyeol.”

“Hi! Come, sit down. This is my friend, Baekhyun, the one I’ve been telling you about.”

Jongdae turns at him to introduce himself, smiling friendly and unknowingly. And if Baekhyun was not so freaked out by the whole situation and panicking, he would totally appreciate the look on Jongdae’s face when he sees Baekhyun sitting there.

It is the perfect combination of surprised, baffled, and distracted.

“And, Baekhyun, this is Jongdae. We met the night I was out with my friend from college.”

At this moment it is Baekhyun’s turn to be baffled. He has not been able to connect the dots yet, still pretty shook-up because of Jongdae’s sudden appearance – yet now it all fits it.

Jongdae is the guy Chanyeol called him and Minseok about, saying that he wanted Baekhyun to marry him. He then, probably with the help of the devil himself, Kim Minseok, proceeded to create a plan to set up a meeting. That is why Chanyeol was so nervous and fidgety earlier.

Oh my God, Baekhyun is going to kill him.

“Nice to meet you,” Jongdae’s voice interrupts Baekhyun’s murderous thoughts as Jongdae probably finally comprehends the situation as well.

“You too,” Baekhyun answers politely. He supposes that this is better – another (unnecessary) introduction rather than having to explain why they already know each other.

“Jongdae is the same age as both of us so there is no reason to be formal. You should be comfortable around each other. Actually, you have lots of similar interests and the same sense of humour so I’m sure you will get along just great.”

Baekhyun sends Chanyeol a pointed look. Being subtle has never been his friend’s strength but he could at least try to pretend that he is not setting them up.

But it gets worse. Chanyeol’s phone rings all of a sudden, signalling that he has received a message.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, it looks like I need to get back to work, there has been some problem and they need me to solve it.”

Baekhyun fights the urge to stab Chanyeol in the thigh with his dessert fork. Despite how usual it is in their company to get a message like that, Baekhyun knows that it’s bullshit. And why? Well, Chanyeol did not even bother to change the ringtone he has set up only for the messages he gets from him and Minseok.

See? No subtlety whatsoever.

“But you two should talk since you have both already ordered! As I said, I’m sure you will get along great. See you!”

Chanyeol does not even try to look apologetic. He simply quickly grabs his cup of coffee (which explains the coffee to go) and basically runs out from the café.

Great, Baekhyun thinks to himself. Just great.

“And here we go again.”

It does not surprise Baekhyun that Jongdae is the first to speak up. He appreciates it as much as he did the last time. “Yeah. Funny, isn’t it? I thought our mothers were the most obvious people in the world but Chanyeol somehow managed to beat them.”

“It seems so. I must say I’m impressed,” Jongdae chuckles.

“Me too. But not surprised. Chanyeol always had it in him.”

That makes Jongdae laugh even more. So much so that he is almost unable to thank the waiter who brings him his coffee.

“Oh my God, I can’t stop laughing!” He wipes off the tears caused by laughing too hard with his sleeve and then shakes his head to calm himself down. “Why is this so hilarious?”

Baekhyun shrugs and cannot help smiling because he is rather amused by Jongdae’s reaction. “I don’t know. It might be the irony. Or the pure coincidence. I haven’t decided yet.”

“The pure coincidence?” Jongdae tilts his head. “You don’t think it is fate?”

“No,” the other man answers immediately. “You do?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I don’t really believe in fate in the typical kind of way but I do believe that some things are supposed to happen. And obviously, we are supposed to be set up by different people over and over again.”

“Over and over again? How many times do you expect it to happen?”

Jongdae laughs because of Baekhyun’s terrified expression. “I don’t know. But it might happen again so be alert.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows because he is not sure if Jongdae is actually being serious or just joking around. “But anyway… what did Chanyeol tell you before coming here?”

“Hmm, let me see… he said to message him when I’m somewhere nearby because it would be nice to grab a coffee together. I had no idea he would try to introduce me to you,” Jongdae chuckles and shakes his head. “When we met he said that he knows someone perfect for me and kept going on and on about how great this friend of his is. He didn’t mention a name though and then never brought it up again. So this is kind of a surprise for me too.”

Baekhyun almost face palms. Of course that Chanyeol said to Jongdae as well that they would make a great match. Of course that Chanyeol has to embarrass him wherever he goes.

“I’m really sorry about him,” he says after a moment.

“Why? It was sweet of him. Although… let me ask you, has your view on relationships changed or do your friends try to set you up despite knowing about it?”

Those words make Baekhyun pause for a second. Why does Jongdae want to know? Maybe he is just curious. Or he simply wants to decide how to interpret Chanyeol’s actions. But for some reason, Baekhyun cannot help but wonder if there is another reason behind the question.

And Jongdae does not help it as he sits there with his warm smile and inquisitively tilted head, waiting for an answer.

Once again, he reminds Baekhyun of the glass marble he had as a kid. Because there always seem to be new shades and nuances of Jongdae’s personality, depending on the current light and the angle. It makes Baekhyun curious, wanting to explore those different glints more.

Suddenly, he actually catches himself staring at Jongdae. He quickly tears his gaze away and hopes that his embarrassment does not show much.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Jongdae speaks up and makes Baekhyun realize that he has been quiet for an awfully long time.

“No, that’s not it, I don’t mind answering! I was just thinking and got lost in thought, I guess.” He absentmindedly starts running his finger over the brim of the coffee mug. “Actually, nothing has changed. I still don’t want to date. My friends do try to set me up from time to time but I don’t blame them – they mean well and they want me to be happy.”

Jongdae only nods in understanding and takes a sip of his own coffee. It does not look like he will comment on it anymore so Baekhyun decides to switch to another topic. “So, now let me ask you something: how’s work?”

Good thinking on Baekhyun’s part because that question immediately lights Jongdae up. “It’s simply amazing! It’s everything I’ve been dreaming of and more.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Baekhyun smiles. “And what about living in the city?”

“Well, that is slightly more difficult but I’m slowly getting used to everything. I miss my family a lot, it’s strange not being close to them. They’ve been amazing though. They support me in everything I do and want me to follow my dream.”

Baekhyun is even more glad to hear that. He remembers how Jongdae struggled with his decision to move here and leave his family, worried about his mom. But he finally decided to go for it and it is amazing that he has been given so much support.

Baekhyun does not voice those thoughts though, too shy to say it aloud.

So they sit there in silence which Baekhyun surprisingly appreciates. Usually he hates it and prefers making small talk but there is something about silence in this moment which makes it even more special.

And Jongdae seems to share his feelings because he keeps quiet too, smiling at Baekhyun softly from time to time.

“Okay, I should really leave now, I have some afternoon classes,” he suddenly declares and hops down from his stool. “It was nice to see you again, Baekhyun. Take care and I hope to see you around.”

“You too. I hope that the next time we’ll see each other, nobody will try to set us up.”

“Really? I wouldn’t mind actually,” Jongdae laughs brightly and winks at Baekhyun. “But now I really have to run. Bye!”

And with that, he is gone, leaving Baekhyun more confused than ever.

~

When Baekhyun comes into Chanyeol’s office, it’s hard to miss that his best friend must have been waiting for him to come there and share his thoughts about Jongdae.

“Am I winning the best wingman of the year award or what?” Chanyeol cuts to the chase immediately.

Baekhyun kind of wants to punch him because he hates that wide smile of his. Well, at least in situations like this one when he is not in the mood to joke around. Normally he has no problem with it and actually finds it endearing.

“No, you’re not. You might win an award for the most unoriginal wingman but that’s it.”

“Huh?” Chanyeol obviously does not comprehend what Baekhyun meant by that. His smile has disappeared and a confused expression has replaced it.

“Someone has tried to set me up with him already. I wasn’t interested even the first time and nothing has changed since then.”

These words remind Baekhyun of Jongdae’s question during the coffee date. When Jongdae asked if his approach to dating is still the same. Could there have been something more behind it?  Or is Baekhyun imagining things?

Biting his lip, Baekhyun reminds himself that he should not overanalyze the question. Nothing good will come out of it.

And he should rather focus on Chanyeol’s confused mumbling instead.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Chanyeol is still trying to understand the whole situation. “When? Jongdae told me he hadn’t been on a date since he’d moved to the city.”

Baekhyun winces at that. For some reason, he doesn’t feel happy about sharing the story with other people. Minseok was enough. But it seems like he doesn’t have a choice.

“Well, long story short, our mothers know each other and they both kind of want their son to date someone so they set up a meeting. But nothing happened. I told him I’m not interested in dating and that was it.”

Chanyeol simply gapes in response, unable to wrap his head around it once again. And he is not saying anything, which means that he must be truly shocked.

“But… but…” he stutters.

“But what? I know you thought we would be good together but that’s not happening, sorry.”

Baekhyun knows he is being kind of prickly. But he cannot help it.

“No, no, that’s not it. I’m just confused about the whole situation! Because Jongdae sent me a message a couple of minutes ago, thanking me for setting up the meeting and saying that he enjoyed getting to know you.”

“He did what?!” It is Baekhyun’s turn to gape at Chanyeol.

“He-“

“I heard you the first time!” Baekhyun stops his friend immediately.

For a moment Chanyeol worriedly studies him because Baekhyun seems rather disconcerted. He is not sure how to proceed. “Do you want to see it?” he ends up asking hesitantly.

Baekhyun looks up. At first it looks like he is going to shake his head to refuse but then he stops the motion, turns his head to the side, and stares out of the window.

“I do,” he breathes out after a moment of silence.

Chanyeol hurries to hand him his phone, almost slamming his stomach against the desk as he leans across.

Baekhyun gives him a look but does not say anything. He has more important things to worry about, to be honest. Such as the phone screen in front of him.

_“I must say I was surprised to meet your friend but it was really nice. Thank you for making it possible for us to meet! You were right, by the way, he’s a great guy. I’m glad I could get to know him!”_

The message seems to have so many implications and hidden meanings. It makes Baekhyun’s head spin.

But then his eyes wander to the messages below it. And this is where it gets even crazier because Jongdae’s reply to Chanyeol’s: _“So are you going to meet him again?”_ is a simple: _“If he wants, I’d love to.”_

“Oh,” is all that comes out of Baekhyun’s mouth.

“Oh as in: I had no idea that he was probably interested in me?”

Sure, this is the time Chanyeol chooses to suddenly become perceptive. Screw Baekhyun’s life.

“Yes, Chanyeol, that oh,” Baekhyun say as calmly as possible and hands the phone back to his friend.

Chanyeol nods in understanding and takes the phone back. “So does it change anything?” he then continues to ask despite knowing that his friend would prefer to leave the topic alone.

Baekhyun wants to answer that it doesn’t. He really, really wants to. But it is not that easy, unfortunately. Just a few minutes ago he was convinced that Jongdae did not have any intention of dating him. That Jongdae saw Baekhyun the way Baekhyun saw him.

That is why the sudden discovery of the opposite changes everything. Baekhyun now has to consider Jongdae’s feelings. And he hates it.

Baekhyun wants to be selfish. He wishes to live in his own little bubble where nobody can disturb his peace and where he can make his decisions only based on what he wants.

But what does he really want? That is the question.

He glances at Chanyeol who is expecting an answer. Well, Baekhyun would kill to be in Chanyeol’s position instead of his own right now.

“I don’t know. I feel like it doesn’t but at the same time I just cannot ignore it, you know.”

Chanyeol’s reaction is a hum.

Oh yeah, Baekhyun really wants to be him. To be able to afford to hum in response to everything in his life.

“But like… what if he’s just messing with me? He must have known that I would read that message. What if he did it on purpose? And when I ask him about it seriously, he will laugh at me for thinking that he really meant it!”

 _Please, Chanyeol, please, say that I’m right_ , Baekhyun starts to plead in his mind.

“Good try but you are not getting out of this one. He’s obviously sending you a signal that he is interested. And if you want to, you can act on it. But at the same time you can just ignore that it has ever happened. It’s your choice.”

Baekhyun simply slams his head against Chanyeol’s desk. He definitely did not need to hear that. There was no need to make him realize the position he has been put into.

“But listen to me! I know what I’ve said about you and Jongdae. And I still stand behind my words. However, at the same time, I’m aware of your issues. And I would hate it if you pushed yourself into something you are not ready for,” Chanyeol says and reaches to pat Baekhyun’s dishevelled hair.

And Baekhyun is thankful for his words. He truly is. Nevertheless, it does not make him forget that there is a decision he needs to make. And he is definitely not sure how to deal with all that.

 

**~ Two weeks later ~**

It has been two weeks and Baekhyun still has not figured out what he’s going to do. And if he is being honest with himself, he has not been trying that much. Instead of thinking about Jongdae, he has immersed himself in his work.

It is safer this way. Sometimes it occurs to him that he should figure it out but then his head starts to hurt and he focuses his attention on something else.

For example, right now he needs to have a talk with their accountant because one of his new writers is going to get published soon.

“Hey, Kyungsoo, have you talked to Chanyeol yet? We really need to figure out the book reading session as soon as possible,” he comes to his co-worker’s desk, still looking at the files he is carrying.

“I was going to but he seems busy right now. There’s some handsome guy in his office,” Kyungsoo informs him.

Baekhyun chuckles and turns the page. “Handsome guy? I had no idea that you’ve decided to come to our side.”

“Please. I can still be straight and think that some guy is handsome, can’t I?”

“Well, if you say so.”

Kyungsoo then punches him with his little fist, which makes Baekhyun finally look up at him.

It is a shame, he must say. When Kyungsoo started working in their office, Baekhyun had a teeny-tiny crush on him. Well, at least until Kyungsoo’s girlfriend decided to pay him a visit. Baekhyun does not enjoy crushing on straight guys.

“So, is there something going on between them? Is he Chanyeol’s new boyfriend or something?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Definitely not. Chanyeol does not date,” Baekhyun shakes his head. “But who is this guy anyway, we really need to –”

As Baekhyun turns to look at the person in Chanyeol’s office, he completely freezes.

Chanyeol has not pulled down the blinds in his glass office so Baekhyun can see the man clearly. He can see how he is animatedly saying something to Chanyeol, who is laughing so much that it seems he might fall off his chair.

And then Baekhyun finally recovers from the initial shock.

“Oh shit!”

He drops down on the floor and presses himself against Kyungsoo’s drawers. It might not be the most mature thing to do but it’s his immediate natural instinct.

“Umm… Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo gives him a confused look.

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing to me.”

Baekhyun sighs. Why? Why is this his life? And why does he have friends like Chanyeol who would invite people like Jongdae into their office?

It is not fair. He is a good person. He doesn’t deserve this.

“So? Are you going to tell me or should I go and ask Chanyeol why are you acting crazy?”

Baekhyun squeezes Kyungsoo’s leg and looks at him pleadingly. “Please don’t! It is embarrassing enough as it is.”

Kyungsoo does not appear to be convinced but does not get up or anything either. It looks like Baekhyun managed to save himself. Until Kyungsoo opens his mouth to ask questions.

“You know that handsome guy, right?”

“Is he really that handsome?”

“He is. You don’t think so? Is that why you are hiding?”

That is a complicated question. Baekhyun has never really considered whether he finds Jongdae attractive or not. But now that he is thinking about it, Jongdae is kind of good-looking – from an objective point of view, of course.

“No – I mean, that is not why I’m hiding. I’m hiding because it seems like he might be kind of interested in me, and I don’t want to deal with it.”

“I see. But wouldn’t it be easier to reject him instead of hiding from him?”

Rejection? That word sounds strange. Baekhyun has never thought of rejecting Jongdae. This option has never crossed his mind. He wonders why.

It might be because Jongdae has never really talked about his feelings with Baekhyun. So there is nothing to reject, right?

And what feelings, anyway? Baekhyun does not know how Jongdae truly feels about him. He might just find him attractive. In that case, Baekhyun would make a fool out of himself if he tried to reject him in a serious manner.

But maybe, just maybe, making a fool out of himself would be better than this constant wondering and confusion.

Baekhyun turns and moves up a bit, just enough for his eyes to be above Kyungsoo’s desk so that he can peek at the pair in Chanyeol’s office.

“How old are you?” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at Baekhyun’s antics.

Baekhyun would like to retort something smart but he does not have the opportunity to do so as Chanyeol is suddenly getting up and pointing in the direction of Kyungsoo’s desk.

Baekhyun has no idea what’s happening.

He needs to act and he needs to act fast. There are basically three options: immediately stand up, hide under Kyungsoo’s desk and hope for the best, and pretend that he has fainted.

“Baekhyun, they are coming this way,” Kyungsoo informs him quietly as if Baekhyun needs to be reminded of that.

“Fuck!” Baekhyun curses under his breath and stands up.

He immediately starts sorting through the documents in his hands. “Whoa, it took me a long time to pick up all of these folders! I am _so_ clumsy! Here you go, Kyungsoo, this is the one you wanted,” he hands his co-worker a random file.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says drily, obviously not impressed with Baekhyun’s acting skills.

“Baekhyun! You’re here too? What a coincidence! I was just telling Jongdae about our midnight chicken restaurant escapades,” Chanyeol announces as soon as he sees his friend.

“Oh, really?” Baekhyun would like to ask why Chanyeol finds it necessary to tell Jongdae about their embarrassing stories but there are more important matters at hand. “Hi, Jongdae.”

“Hi, Baekhyun,” Jongdae greets him with a wide smile on his face. “I had no idea you were this wild.”

That is it. Baekhyun is going to kill Chanyeol. “Yeah, but that was a long time ago.”

“That’s true. Before he became an old, grumpy man.”

Baekhyun resists the urge to kick Chanyeol’s shin. It can wait.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Kyungsoo suddenly speaks up after being completely ignored by the three men.

“Oh! Yeah, sure!” Chanyeol hits his own forehand. “Kyungsoo, this is Jongdae, my friend. Jongdae, this is Kyungsoo, our head accountant.”

While there are pleasantries being exchanged, Baekhyun wonders when Chanyeol decided to start calling Jongdae his friend.

“I actually invited Jongdae to our office because I thought it would be nice if we could donate some books to his school. You know how we do some charity every year, right? I’ve already talked to the boss and he’s fine with it so we’re just in the middle of discussing some details.”

“Really? That’s great!” Kyungsoo says and Baekhyun agrees. In his head.

“I know! I’m so excited! But I figured we should talk to you about the financial stuff first.”

Baekhyun stands there quietly for a moment, listening to their conversation. He is pretty much sure nobody is paying attention to him. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are talking about numbers, and Jongdae is apparently able to follow them because he is nodding and sometimes even comes in.

It seems like a perfect opportunity for Baekhyun to disappear. However, as soon as he starts to move backwards, Chanyeol notices him.

“Are you leaving? Wait a second! Before you go, I was thinking that we should celebrate that everything worked out tonight. I’ll invite Minseok too!”

Baekhyun opens his mouth – and then closes it. Suddenly, he cannot think of any excuse. Chanyeol knows everything about his work schedule. And he also knows all of his friends. So there is no way he can say that he has a work thing or a meeting with a friend. He would be exposed right away.

And Chanyeol seems to realize this, at least judging from the satisfied smirk on his face. “Perfect, I’ll text you the details later! Are you in, Kyungsoo?”

“Sorry, can’t. I have a date with my girlfriend.”

“Okay, so next time. Today it’s going to be just the four of us,” Chanyeol beams at Jongdae who simply nods and smiles back at him.

Seeing Jongdae standing there and smiling like that makes Baekhyun realize that Jongdae is very attractive indeed. And not just objectively speaking.

There is something about his defined features and slim figure that makes Baekhyun pause. Out of nowhere, he is able to notice small details that he has never registered before. Like how adorable his ears are. Or how sexy he looks with the rolled up sleeves of his shirt.

Baekhyun mentally slaps himself and decides that now is a really good time to leave.

“See you tonight,” Jongdae turns back at him, waving.

“Yeah, see you,” Baekhyun says and quickly disappears into his own office.

Fortunately, his blinds are pulled down so he can collapse onto his sofa and scream into a pillow. He has no idea how he is going to survive this evening.

~

It has been so long since the last time Baekhyun was in a bar with his friends. And it has been even longer since he thought that someone was attractive. That is why everything feels so unfamiliar at the moment.

He is sitting in a bar, a glass of beer in front of him, and he is anxious as hell about having to be around Jongdae for the whole night. Chanyeol’s timing really couldn’t have been worse.

“Why so grumpy?”

The question startles Baekhyun way more than it should because he came into the bar with Minseok and they have been sitting together at the table several minutes, most of which Baekhyun was so deep in his thoughts that he actually forgot there was someone next to him.

“I’m not grumpy,” Baekhyun says – grumpily.

Minseok stifles a laugh. “Well, so how else would you call it when someone is frowning constantly and staring at their beer like it killed their whole family and they want revenge?”

“I don’t know – contemplativeness?”

“I see. So what have you been contemplating then?”

Baekhyun sighs. Why does he only have friends who cannot let things go?

“Life, I guess.”

“Whoa, what a great and elaborate description! And I was worried you’re going to be vague about your thoughts.”

That sarcastic comment makes Baekhyun frown finally disappear but Minseok knows that there is still a lot more work to do to make his friends relax a little bit. “Are you worried about that Jongdae guy coming? We can still cancel, you know.”

Baekhyun knows that. He has considered that option many times since the afternoon. But the weird thing is that he has only realized every time that he does not actually want to cancel at all.

“No. Chanyeol would never let it go if we bailed on them like that.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” Minseok laughs and takes a sip of his beer. “But don’t worry. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, just let me know and we’ll leave immediately. I’ll think of some excuse.”

“That is very nice of you, thanks,” Baekhyun smiles at Minseok.

Minseok is a good friend. He understands him. He might sometimes pry a little too much for Baekhyun’s liking but he makes up for it at times like this. Even though he does not know everything about Baekhyun’s current inner turmoil, he can sense it and offer his support based on instinct.

Baekhyun feels like he should let him know how thankful he is for that but when he turns at him, Minseok is obviously focused on something else. And it does not take Baekhyun long to realize what that something else is.

“That’s Jongdae, right?” Minseok asks, not looking away from the two men who have just entered the bar.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun begrudgingly confirms Jongdae’s identity.

“Damn, Chanyeol wasn’t lying, he is both cute and hot at the same time.”

Baekhyun hates that he has to agree with Minseok on that. In his head, obviously, he cannot afford to say something like that aloud. Especially because Chanyeol and Jongdae are dangerously  quickly approaching their table.

“Hey, guys! I’m glad you both could make it!”

Chanyeol immediately pulls both Baekhyun and Minseok into a group hug, not caring about their unresponsiveness.

“Hello to you as well but, please, before you strangle me, could you at least properly introduce me to Jongdae?” Minseok taps Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“Oh! Yeah, of course!” Chanyeol chuckles and lets his friends go. “Jongdae, this is Kim Minseok, our dear friend. Though you won’t believe it because of his baby face, he is two years older than the rest of us. But there’s no need to act formal around him, he’s super chill.”

“Wow, that might be the first time anybody has ever called Minseok chill,” Baekhyun laughs which causes him to get hit by Minseok.

“Hey, I’m plenty chill!” Minseok squints at Baekhyun but then he immediately turns back to Jongdae, all happy and beaming. “It is so nice to finally meet you, Jongdae, I’ve heard many wonderful things about you.”

“Oh, really? You have to tell me more about that later. And it is nice to meet you as well!” Jongdae gives him a friendly smile and bows a little bit.

“Hey, what did I tell you about being formal?” Chanyeol shakes his head and takes off his jacket as he finally sits down.

Jongdae only laughs and does the same.

That, however, almost causes Baekhyun to choke on his own saliva because Jongdae is wearing a sleeveless top, and hot damn. Somehow Baekhyun recalls Jongdae’s mother saying that Jongdae regularly goes to the gym. Shit, she wasn’t lying about that.

He starts to feel like somebody has turnt the heat up way too much in the room.

He has a little time to calm down when the waitress comes to take their order though. However, he is sure that he will never fully recover from that.

“So, boys, hope you’re ready for a long night because we’ve got a lot to celebrate!” Chanyeol announces in his loud voice. “I’m thinking a lot of shots and a club after.”

“Calm down, Chanyeol, you’ve just got here. There’s plenty of time to get drunk and make stupid decisions,” Minseok smirks.

“Hey, I don’t make stupid decisions!”

“Really? Should I start listing them?”

Chanyeol gapes and Minseok knows that he has won which allows him to happily turn his attention to Jongdae. “So, Jongdae, I hear from Chanyeol that you’ve just recently moved to the city. How’s the life here?”

“It’s great, actually, thank you for asking,” Jongdae smiles. It is adorable. Baekhyun hates him for that. “I have my dream job here. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and more. I must admit that it was hard for me to get used to it at first because I’m really close with my family and not seeing them often made me feel very homesick but it’s better now. I’ve met some new friends here, Chanyeol included, and they’ve made it way easier for me.”

“Aw, that so sweet,” Chanyeol hugs Jongdae immediately and ruffles his hair.

It makes Baekhyun feel like crap. Not because he thinks there is something between them, he is pretty sure they are just friends, but he remembers the call with his mother when Jongdae moved into the city. Jongdae really needed someone to be there for him at that time, and Baekhyun should have realized that.

“I’m glad to hear you’re close to your family. Not that many people who are out have that, unfortunately,” Minseok says.

“Yeah. I’m aware of how lucky I am,” Jongdae nods. “And speaking of people being out, how did the three of you meet exactly? I’ve personally never had much luck finding fellow gay friends.”

“Well, we should thank Baekhyun and his obvious flirting for that,” Chanyeol laughs and nudges Baekhyun with his elbow.

“Very funny,” Baekhyun stares at his friend.

“But it is true!” Minseok takes Chanyeol’s side without hesitation.

“Really? How come?” Jongdae seems truly curious and does these puppy eyes which make it really hard for Baekhyun to stop his friends from telling the story.

“For us two, it started in our office. We worked together for a while but never really talked because Baekhyun seemed way too serious about his job,” Chanyeol winks at Baekhyun. “Then Kyungsoo started working with us. Baekhyun did not even try to hide the fact that he had a huge crush on him.”

“You see, Baekhyun’s gaydar is sort of broken,” Minseok adds.

“Hey, it is not!”

“It is but whatever makes you sleep at night,” Chanyeol chuckles and then continues. “I’d watched him for almost two months trying to woo Kyungsoo before I decided to step in. Baekhyun still didn’t believe me but when Kyungsoo’s girlfriend visited him, he had to admit I was right. We bonded over this experience. Then he was the first person who I officially came out to, well, except for my previous boyfriends, which made us even closer. And here we are. The only two gay guys in our company and the best of friends.”

Chanyeol tilts his glass towards Baekhyun who does lot leave him hanging. They click glasses while smiling at each other.

“That’s really cute,” Jongdae says, sincerely happy for them both. “So how did you join this cute duo?” he then turns to Minseok.

“Baekhyun and I went to the same gym. I kind of knew about him since he seemed to have a similar routine but we didn’t speak to each other or anything. Then, one day, my earphones got tangled while I was on the treadmill so I lost concentration and noticed him staring at me in the mirror. I started to pay more attention to him after that and discovered that he basically followed my every move and kept checking me out.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Baekhyun quickly comes in to defend himself. “I was not checking you out – at first. I wanted to follow someone who was experienced but then I realized how cute you were and it became hard to focus because of that.”

“First of all, thank you very much, and second of all, that does not change anything,” Minseok chuckles. “Anyway, I waited for Baekhyun to say something for like a month but nothing happened so I decided to corner him. I asked him why he found my ass more interesting that his workout which threw him off so much that he ran away from me.”

Baekhyun wants to hide under the table. It was not necessary to tell that part of the story but Minseok simply had to embarrass him.

“And what happened then?” Jongdae asks, laughing.

“The next time we saw each other he apologized to me for staring and asked if I wanted to have a drink with him sometime. I said that I would love to but only as friends because he wasn’t my type. And then he brought Chanyeol as reinforcement when we went for a drink, probably because he was too embarrassed to be alone with me, and that is how this whole thing started.”

“To be clear, Chanyeol wanted to come,” Baekhyun quickly says, as if that one detail could save him from all the humiliation.

“That is true,” Chanyeol admitted. “I wanted to see the man who turned Baekhyun down with my own eyes. Before that, nobody had ever turned Baekhyun down. Well, except for straight people because Baekhyun’s gaydar really does not work.”

Baekhyun only glares at Chanyeol since he feels too exhausted by all that talk about him to retaliate.

“Interesting,” Jongdae says and gives Baekhyun this contemplative look which the latter cannot decipher and that somehow scares him. “Anyway, it seems like Baekhyun has had a lot of luck when it comes to meeting friends.”

“Well, friends maybe. Boyfriends are a different story,” Chanyeol sighs as he finishes his third beer.

“Chanyeol!” Minseok immediately snaps at him.

“What? It’s true. And Jongdae already knows to some extent. Although, I’m pretty sure Baekhyun hasn’t told him the whole story.”

“So what? That’s Baekhyun’s decision! I swear, Chanyeol, you are such a lightweight, you should not be allowed to drink at all.”

Baekhyun wants to run away right now. It is so awkward and tense. He can feel Jongdae’s eyes on him. He can feel Minseok’s sympathy and support. But what he feels the most intensively is the pressure Chanyeol has put on him. He hates it so, so much.

“I’m not that drunk!” Chanyeol defends himself. “I just… I feel like Jongdae should know the whole story so that he can understand why Baekhyun acts the way he does.”

“Oh my God, you can’t be serious,” Minseok gapes at him incredulously.

“Chanyeol, it’s fine. Really. I don’t need to hear everything. And Minseok’s right. It’s Baekhyun’s decision to tell me. You should let it go,” Jongdae hurriedly says and gently pats Chanyeol’s on the back.

And here it is again. Baekhyun is able to see a new shade of Jongdae – once again, he is reminded of his favourite toy from his childhood, the glass marble. It’s fascinating. He has never met a person who would appear so colourful in his eyes.

It makes him lose focus for a moment until he comes back to his senses and realizes how uncomfortable the whole situation actually is.

“I do want to tell Jongdae. But it is not that easy. Maybe… maybe we could all tell some story about our horrible exes or people we’ve been with. How does that sound?”

Minseok’s jaw drops and Baekhyun is afraid his eyes are going to fall out of their sockets. Jongdae has a similar reaction but then he realizes the meaning of the first sentence of Baekhyun’s speech and he does not know what to do with his expression at all – it becomes a strange mix of shock, pleasant surprise, and confusion. And then there is Chanyeol, who just starts clapping his hands and beaming.

“I’m getting us shots!” he says and does not hesitate to do so as a waitress approaches them.

“This is not going to end well, mark my words,” Minseok buries his face in his hands.

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun!” Chanyeol laughs and shakes with him. “Okay, so who wants to go first?”

Minseok finally stops shaking his head and glares at Chanyeol pointedly. “You go since you seem so excited about this.”

“No problem,” Chanyeol downs one of the shots that have been brought to their table. “So the worst experience I’ve probably ever had with a guy was when I met this guy in a bar. We chatted, I found him hot, he found me irresistible, and so we ended up in his apartment. In the morning, I woke up lying next to this gorgeous guy and I felt so lucky. It was one of those rare times when I actually considered having a relationship. Anyway, I really had to go to the bathroom so I got up and went to look for it… and then I stepped into his living room.”

“Oh no,” Jongdae utters, already sensing what is going to come.

“Well, that was exactly my thought at the moment. It was dark when we came to his place and I was too busy to notice anything. But in the morning I saw it all. There were photos literally everywhere. Photos of him and some other guy. They must have been addicted to documenting literally every moment they spent together.”

“Oh my God, what did you do?” Jongdae asks. He obviously can’t believe the guy in Chanyeol’s story.

“I totally flipped out. I ran back into the bedroom, I hit him probably like a million times with a pillow, called him a million names, and then gathered up my things and left. I was so disgusted and I felt so used. It was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had.”

“Minseok actually wanted to go kill the guy when Chanyeol told him,” Baekhyun added.

Minseok shuddered at the memory. “I just hate cheaters. And I hate cheaters who don’t tell the person who they are cheating with that they are already in a relationship even more.”

“I think that this is your segue, right?” Chanyeol says.

“I guess so,” Minseok sighs. “Well, as I said, I hate cheaters. It’s mainly because I was in a relationship with one when I was in college. To be honest, I’m still not sure if _relationship_ is the correct word. We did date but we didn’t really tell anybody about us because he was worried it would damage his reputation. And I understood that at the time as I was still not completely out of the closet myself.”

Baekhyun wants to hug Minseok so bad right now. He also kind of hates himself for suggesting the story sharing. He knows how difficult it was for Minseok to come out and that any mention of it still brings painful memories.

“Anyway, I had one really good friend who was gay as well but I still did not tell him about us because I was worried he could mention it somewhere and that would be the end of everything I cherished so much. However, I realized quite soon that I should have told him. I really, really should have.”

Jongdae flinched immediately as the realization dawns upon him. Minseok notices that and just laughs.

“Yeah, ouch. So one day I met the friend for coffee, and he said that he couldn’t wait any longer and had to tell me a secret which I had to swear to keep to myself. When I did promise him I would keep quiet, he told me that for the past two weeks he had been fooling around with a guy. And then he said the name. I swear I basically blacked out for a second. And you know, what is the worst part? I did not say anything. I sat there for an hour listening to my friend gush about someone I thought I could spend the rest of my life with.”

“What a dick,” Chanyeol says, clenching his fists.

“Yeah, exactly. But fortunately I realized I kept quiet because I did not want to hurt my friend, not because I still cared about that asshole. So I broke up with him as soon as I could and made him promise that he would end things with my friend. I could not let my friend date that cheating bastard.”

Baekhyun cannot wait any longer so he wraps his arms around Minseok and hugs him tightly but tenderly.

“Aww, thank you,” Minseok smiles and pats his head. “I’m fine now though. I just have this deep hatred towards cheaters.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Chanyeol hands him a glass, and they both down their shots together.

After a short silence, which was truly needed, Jongdae drinks one shot as well. “I guess it’s my turn now.”

That sentence makes Baekhyun feel that his own story is the main event of the evening – and that is not exactly the most pleasant feeling in the world. He dreads the moment when he actually has to recount everything.

“Okay, so I have to admit that I’ve never dated or been with anyone completely terrible. I’ve had only one boyfriend, we were together for almost five years, and the break-up was mutual since we both felt that it was not going anywhere. I’ve also fooled around with some other people but all of them were nice, well, as far as I could tell. So I guess my love life’s kind of boring,” Jongdae chuckles.

“You are one lucky guy,” Minseok sighs but everyone can tell that he is happy for Jongdae that he didn’t have to go through any rough situations.

“Right? So unfair,” Chanyeol pouts but he doesn’t really mean it, obviously.

As for Baekhyun’s reaction, he suddenly feels restless. Because he realizes that Jongdae has probably met at least one person who acted like an asshole towards him – and that was Baekhyun.

Now, Baekhyun is very well aware that they have not been involved in any way but it is also true that Baekhyun has known for some time now that Jongdae probably sort of likes him. He wants to avoid addressing this issue, and that is despite the fact that he has admitted to himself that he actually finds Jongdae truly handsome and nice. Baekhyun knows that it is unfair. It might not exactly be asshole behaviour but he cannot help thinking that he is still acting like a douche.

However, there is no time to ponder that. All three men are looking at him, expecting him to start talking about his own story. It makes his stomach turn.

“I’m… I don’t think I’m ready to tell the story myself.”

“That’s okay, you don’t have to,” Minseok immediately rushes to the rescue.

Baekhyun looks at him with gratitude but then his expression become sombre again. “I know I don’t but I was thinking that Chanyeol could tell the story.”

All eyes are suddenly on the tall man who appears to be rather taken aback. “What? I… it’s not my story to tell.”

“It might not be but I want it to be heard. You went through it all with me so I think you are the best person to take my place.”

Even after those words Chanyeol seems unsure and hesitant. He turns to Minseok who simply reacts with a shrug, not really understanding himself what is Baekhyun’s intention. Chanyeol shakes his head, takes a deep breath, and drinks one more shot.

“Okay, if that’s how you want to do it, then fine,” he sets down the glass but continues to play with it in his hands. “Baekhyun met his ex-boyfriend through an illustrator who works for our company. He was that illustrator’s best friend who once came to a meeting with him. Baekhyun fell for him basically immediately – and he fell hard. He’d spent all of his free time coming up with a plan how to meet the guy somewhere until I had to interfere and ask that illustrator for his friend’s number. After that, it did not take long and Baekhyun started dating him.”

Right after that sentence Baekhyun has to down a shot himself. Unfortunately, it does not ease the pain at all.

“At first everything seemed great between them. They moved in together pretty soon and I was so happy for them. But then – then Baekhyun started coming to work looking like death. I asked him like a million times what was going on but he never told me. Until one day when I found him crying in his office. That day I found out that his boyfriend was almost never home. Sometimes Baekhyun didn’t see him for several days. The days when he did come home, it was usually in the middle of the night and he was completely drunk. The next day he refused to tell Baekhyun where he was or who he was with. He also got very angry when Baekhyun asked.”

Angry. _What a strange word_ , Baekhyun thinks to himself as he vividly remembers all that breaking of plates and glasses, flipping of tables, screaming, and cursing.

“Baekhyun endured it all because he did not want to lose him. He spent all those nights without him in the apartment wide awake but stopped asking questions. We all wanted him to confront Se–” Chanyeol promptly pauses in shock once he realizes the slip of the tongue.

“It’s fine, you can say his name,” Baekhyun says as calmly as he can at that moment.

“Are you sure?” Chanyeol asks, looking extremely apologetic.

“I am. Go on.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol nods, still unsure despite the confirmation. “We all wanted Baekhyun to confront Sehun. It was too painful to watch him. But he never did. Despite the numerous times Sehun passed out in their bed with his clothes dishevelled and those times when he properly couldn’t walk in the morning. Despite all that Baekhyun cared about him a lot. But then Sehun broke up with him out of nowhere, claiming that Baekhyun was the reason their relationship could not work. That Baekhyun was too uptight and controlling and what not. He left Baekhyun just like that, after two years and after all that Baekhyun had to suffer through.”

Baekhyun doesn’t want to look up. Because he knows that Jongdae will be looking at him with pity. And pity is something he definitely does not need. What he needs is to finally get over himself, stop blaming himself for all that happened, and get his life together. Nevertheless, that is easier said than done.

“I warned you all that this was a bad idea,” Minseok is the one to break the silence.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Chanyeol says and laughs a little although it does not really sound like his usual carefree laugh. “We talked about our demons. That’s important to do once in a while.”

“I agree with Chanyeol. It’s important to face your demons,” Baekhyun nods and smiles.

“See, Baekhyun agrees with me!” Chanyeol shouts loudly. He is back to his usual self. “Okay, the drinks today are on me but we should definitely continue with this in some club. What do you say, party people?”

Minseok examines him for a moment, trying to determine whether he is actually serious or not. As he realizes that Chanyeol actually means it, he gives up. “What the hell, let’s go. Nothing worse can happen tonight anyway.”

“You guys should all go but I think I’m going to head home.”

They all turn to Baekhyun at once, obviously worried. Well, at least Minseok and Chanyeol are worried for sure. Baekhyun still doesn’t have the guts to look Jongdae in the eyes.

“I’m not depressed or anything, I swear. I’ve had a long day and I have to wake up early tomorrow. There’s no need to worry about me,” Baekhyun says and he truly means it.

He feels completely exhausted. Today has been an emotional rollercoaster for him. Hence, he is ready to go to bed, the sooner the better.

“Actually, I’m beat so I think I’ll have to leave you too,” Jongdae suddenly speaks up. “But I can make sure that Baekhyun gets home safe and sound so that you two don’t have to worry.”

“Huh?” is all that comes out of Baekhyun’s mouth whereas his mind is a total mess.

Jongdae wants to accompany him home? What the hell? How is he even supposed to react? Should he just say that he is a grown-ass man and can get home safely by himself, thank you very much? Or would that be too obvious and Jongdae would figure out that Baekhyun is trying to avoid him? Wait, but if he says nothing, wouldn’t that tell Jongdae that he is interested?

What the hell is he supposed to do?!

“That…” Chanyeol pauses for a second. “That is a perfect idea!”

He does not waste a second and finds the closest waitress in order to pay for the drinks while the rest of the company remains silent.

Minseok subtly tries to mentally communicate with Baekhyun. Firstly, to make sure that he is truly okay and not lying about that. And secondly, to find out if he feels comfortable going home with Jongdae like that.

Baekhyun understands all those inquiries from Minseok, they have known each other for a while now after all. He succeeds at assuring Minseok that he is okay with his look but he is unable to answer the second question since he himself does not know the answer.

“Okay, people, let’s go!” Chanyeol announces happily as soon as he pays.

When they are all getting up, Jongdae manages to lock eyes with Baekhyun. “Are you fine with me walking you home?” he asks.

Baekhyun is stunned for a second because as soon as he sees Jongdae’s face, there is suddenly no doubt in his mind that he is more than fine with it.

“Sure,” he answers with a trembling voice which he cannot help.

~

It’s a nice warm autumn evening, the streets are dimly lit, and the breeze feels so nice as it ruffles your hair. Of course, Baekhyun can’t enjoy any of that since it is so unnerving to walk the streets with Jongdae right next to him.

Neither of them has uttered any word since they left the bar which makes the tension go up even higher, at least in Baekhyun’s opinion. He has no idea what’s Jongdae thinking – and honestly, it’s probably a good thing that he doesn’t. Although, he wishes to sense the mood of the thoughts so he can act accordingly.

He steals a glance at Jongdae, from the corner of his eye, hoping that the other man won’t notice.

“The silence makes you uncomfortable, huh?” Baekhyun slightly jumps up as soon as those words leave Jongdae’s mouth. _Damn it_. “Sorry, sometimes I forget how uncomfortable people get when there’s silence.”

“And you don’t?” Baekhyun raises his eyebrow in an inquiring way.

“Not really. I think that the best way how to get to know someone is to spend some time in silence when you’re with them. That’s why when we were together in that café, just sitting next to each other for a while, I felt that I finally figured out who you are.”

Baekhyun doesn’t understand. He remembers that time and recalls how nice it felt for him as well to just sit there quietly. But he didn’t feel like it was ground-breaking or anything in terms of the way he looked at Jongdae.

“I guess I’ve never experienced anything like that.”

And then it hits him. Jongdae said that he’d figured out who Baekhyun is? What the hell?! What does that even mean?

He turns to Jongdae who is still peacefully walking by his side, head a little bit tilted back as he is watching the evening sky.

Baekhyun takes a deep breath. He ignores how sharp Jongdae’s Adam’s apple looks and how lean his neck is.  He just musters the courage to ask. “So who am I?”

“You’re someone I’d like to get to know better,” Jongdae answers without hesitation and also without sparing Jongdae a glance. “But I’ve know that since the first time we met so it doesn’t really count as a big revelation.”

Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows. Way to make it even more confusing. “What? I thought that we agreed that were both not interested.”

“I get why you interpreted it that way but no, not really,” Jongdae chuckles. Baekhyun feels simply flabbergasted. “You said that you don’t want a relationship and I said I’d like one but I’m not sure it’s the right time for it.”

“So?” Baekhyun says and then wants to slap himself. Way to at least appear articulate.

“So I didn’t say that I wasn’t interested.”

“But you said that I wasn’t your type.”

Jongdae chuckles again. Baekhyun still cannot understand what’s so funny. “I’m afraid that’s incorrect again. You were the one who said that. Well, to be fair, you said you were going to tell your mom that I wasn’t your type. I said none of that sort.”

“But…” Baekhyun really, really wants to retort something smart. Something that would disprove Jongdae’s statement. Something that would prove that Baekhyun hasn’t been in denial for a lot longer that he thought.

“It’s okay. It’s my fault. I should have said something. But I didn’t want to burden you with my feelings since you seemed really firm about your attitude to relationships.”

Burden him? _Burden_ him?! What the hell?!

Jongdae should have fucking told him! Because that was totally unfair. Baekhyun deserved to know!

He breathes and tries to stay calm.

“I just… I wish you would have told me.”

“And I’m sorry that I didn’t. I thought it wouldn’t change anything,” Jongdae lowers his eyes, which gives Baekhyun the opportunity to admire his long eyelashes. But Baekhyun does not take it. Well, at least he tries not to. “Was I wrong?”

“Excuse me?” Baekhyun shakes his head, suddenly a little bit out of it. _Damn those eyelashes_.

“I asked whether I was wrong when I thought it wouldn’t change anything if I told you about how I felt when I met you.”

“Well, that really depends on what you would have told me.”

Baekhyun is very well aware that he’s lying through his teeth. And he’s pretty sure Jongdae knows it too. He still hopes though that Jongdae will tell him. Because, if Baekhyun is being honest with himself for once, he’s dying to hear it.

“I would have probably simply told you that I found you very charming and nice. And also very, very attractive. And that despite the fact that we’d know each other for like five minutes I felt like that we’d clicked and would have so much more to talk about if you gave me a chance,” Jongdae smiles softly and brushes his fingers through his thick hair. “I would have told you that I liked how restless and full of energy you are. And how your eyes sparkle when you make a joke which you know will make the other person smile. And… that would have been it probably. At least at that time.”

“And now?” Baekhyun asks, trembling all over his body. Even his voice is trembling but he doesn’t pay attention to it.

“Now? Now I would tell you that I still find you charming, nice, and attractive. I still feel like we’ve somehow clicked and have this connection even though we’ve seen each other just a few times. And I still like your admirable restlessness and energy and sparkling eyes,” Jongdae laughs a bit which makes Baekhyun chuckle as well. “But I also love how dedicated you are to your work. I enjoy talking to your friends and spending time with all of you. I admire how strong you are – how you’ve overcome everything in your life. And I also love how caring and kind you are despite all that. I would tell you that… that there are so many little things I’ve noticed that might not seem like much but create this beautiful person who I’ve, to my own surprise, come to like. A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot.”

Baekhyun feels weak in the knees. He doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know what to think, he doesn’t even know how to breathe properly anymore. His head keeps spinning and the word _a lot_ continues to be repeated like some kind of an echo.

He might go crazy. It is seriously quite possible.

“I must sound kind of crazy to you, huh?” And there’s Jongdae again with his carefree laugh while Baekhyun ponders whether banging his head against the nearest streetlight would help or not. “You don’t have to give me an answer. I know how you feel about dating and all that so I won’t push you into anything, I swear.”

 _How nice of him_ , Baekhyun thinks to himself. But it would be a lot nicer if that could fucking help him get rid of that unbearable inner turmoil.

It doesn’t matter that Jongdae doesn’t look for an answer. Baekhyun still feels like he owes him one. Although _owe_ might not be the most suitable word there is, and Jongdae would totally disagree with him, Baekhyun doesn’t have the energy to look for a better one.

 _That nearest streetlight looks really good and sturdy_ , he notes in his head. Then he slowly realizes that he knows that streetlight very well. He looks at it all the time from his window.

“Oh… this… this is me,” he says. How articulate of him once again but this time he doesn’t blame himself. After all, the whole evening has been one overwhelming clusterfuck.

“I see,” Jongdae eyes the building and softly hums. “Wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Baekhyun doesn’t even have to ask what it means so he just gives Jongdae a look which quickly turns into a smile while he’s looking for his keys and walking towards the entrance.

He stops immediately when he can feel them in his pocket because now it’s time to say goodbye.

He turns his head.

There is Jongdae, simply standing there, smiling softly and kindly, looking flawless in the light of the streetlight, and oh my God Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do with his hands, eyes, and his whole existence.

And so he does the only thing that seems reasonable at the moment – he leans forward and presses his lips on Jongdae’s.

It takes Jongdae by surprise so they just stand there for a second. Baekhyun with his eyes closed, Jongdae with his eyes wide open. But then he closes them as well and starts to move a bit. Suddenly their mouths fit so well together, reacting to each other as if they’ve done it many times before.

Baekhyun hardly even notices that he is now pressed against the wall of his building because he can feel Jongdae’s tongue gently slipping into his mouth, he can feel Jongdae’s hands tightly wrapped around his body, and he can definitely feel Jongdae’s crotch dangerously close to his own.

It’s the heat of the moment which makes him slide his hand under Jongdae’s top. And it is that exact movement which makes Jongdae break off the hot steamy kiss.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he says, obviously still out of breath. “I think you must have misunderstood.”

Baekhyun blinks at him, mind completely blank. “I’m sorry, what?”

“This is not what I’m looking for,” Jongdae replies while emphasising every single word.

“It is not?” Baekhyun is unable to comprehend anything at that moment. The only thing on his mind is that he misses the warmth of Jongdae’s body and that’s it.

“No,” Jongdae shakes his head. “I’m not looking for a one-night stand or for a casual relationship or for whatever this has been leading to. That’s not what I want. And I’m sorry that we not on the same page about this but I don’t think this would end well. Because I know that it would mean a lot more to me than to you.”

Jongdae’s apology brings Baekhyun back to reality right away. Why does he have to apologize when he’s done nothing wrong? Why does he have to do that and make Baekhyun feel like crap?

However, the worst thing about the whole fucked up situation is that Jongdae’s fucking right.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for kissing you.”

“No, no, you don’t have to be. It’s just… we want different things right now. The timing kind of sucks and there’s nothing we can do about it. But it’s okay. It really is.”

 _No, it is not_ , Baekhyun wants to yell. Nothing is okay because Jongdae is a glass marble and Baekhyun knows how much it hurts to lose one.

But he does not say it. He knows he wants to somewhere deep in his heart but he does not.

“Thanks for walking me home,” he breathes out instead.

“My pleasure,” Jongdae replies, sends Baekhyun one of his soft smiles, and walks away as if nothing happened, as if nothing is wrong.

And maybe nothing really is wrong in Jongdae’s life. But it suddenly seems like there’s everything wrong in Baekhyun’s.

~

The coffee tastes like shit. The writer whose work he’s reading apparently cannot form one damn coherent sentence without completely fucking it up. His head hurts like a bitch because he hasn’t gotten any sleep. And on top of that, he has another good-for-nothing train wreck of a writer not answering his calls as the deadline is looming over them. Fuck his life, seriously.

And no, Baekhyun is not projecting his feelings about last night onto his everyday life. Everything really is that fucked up.

He rubs his temples, hoping that it might help at least a little bit because he needs to finish reading this piece of garbage so that he can go annoy his other writer into sending him the fucking draft.

But that does not seem very likely as there’s a knock on his door.

“Hmm,” is his only reaction because he certainly does not have it in him to form a full sentence. Which is okay though, he is not paid to do so – unlike this half-witted writer.

“Hey, Baekhyun, sorry to bother you but we need to seriously talk about the expenses on this publication because it seems to me that – whoa, what’s with the sour face?”

“I don’t have a sour face,” Baekhyun answers and does not even bother to stop reading.

“Tell me that once again and I might believe you,” Kyungsoo chuckles. It makes Baekhyun look up but he’s obviously not amused. “Seriously though, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Baekhyun answers right away and goes back to reading.

“Uh-huh. So should I like leave you alone and pretend that I believe you or should I keep insisting that there is something wrong until you open up to me?”

Baekhyun shouldn’t find it funny but he does. He laughs while shaking his head and lays down his pen which means that he’s done with reading at least for some time.

“Do you really want to hear it? It’s boy trouble.”

“Of course I do. And you know I don’t have a problem with that,” Kyungsoo says in a reassuring way. “So what happened? Do you have a crush on a straight guy again?”

“No, not this again!” Baekhyun buries his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I was just trying to loosen up the mood,” Kyungsoo ruffles his hair.

“Yeah, sure. You love to bring it up because you think it makes you have some kind of power over me but that ship has sailed a long time ago, my friend.”

“Oh really?” Kyungsoo hums. “So there’s someone new you have a crush on?”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it a crush but it's something similar to that.”

It feels strange for Baekhyun to admit it aloud. It feels strange actually admitting it instead of avoiding the question of what Jongdae means to him.

“Is it that Jongdae guy who came here yesterday?”

Baekhyun hates how perceptive Kyungsoo is. “Yeah, it’s him.”

“So what’s the problem?  You said that he’s interested in you.”

“Yeah, he is. But it’s complicated.” Baekhyun wants to bang his head against something again, seriously.  “Because, while I do like him in a way, I’m still unsure whether I want to get into a serious relationship. And when I sort of tried to establish a different kind of relationship, he said that he was not looking for that.”

“By a different kind of relationship you mean like a casual one?”

Baekhyun sighs. “Yeah, I guess you could call it casual or something like that.”

“Hmm,” Kyungsoo chews on his plump lips as he ponders over the situation. “So let me get this straight. You came on to him and he told you that he was not looking for a fling or whatever but for something serious. And that something serious would specifically include you. Am I right?”

“Yes. Yes, you are.” It sucks to confirm that.

“Okay. And you don’t want something serious, correct?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I see. And what about something serious with him?”

“How does…” Baekhyun pauses in surprise. “How does that change the question?”

“Simply. You can hate the idea of something in general but then something or someone comes that kind of changes the idea and makes it more bearable. Do you get what I mean?”

As Baekhyun still does not seem to comprehend the meaning behind his words, Kyungsoo decides to continue. “Take me and Seojin, for example. I always hated the idea of living with someone else because I like my things organized the way I want. But then she entered the picture and presented the idea to me. I was completely against it at first. I just kept thinking how horrible it would be because she’s certainly quite disorganized. However, I soon realized I was completely missing all the good things it would bring. Like not missing her every evening, being able to take care of her, or making sure she rests enough. Stuff like that,” Kyungsoo blushes a little because it’s very unlike him to talk about his personal life. “Do you get it now? I was so blinded by the idea of living together with someone that I forgot how much I would love living together with her.”

Baekhyun is rendered speechless. How… how is it possible that he kept missing this every time he thought of Jongdae?

Then it occurred to him. He did not miss it. He got the idea of how amazing it would be to spend time with Jongdae. But he simply never connected the dots. He was so freaked out by being in a relationship, any relationship, that he forgot it was not about the idea of a relationship at all – it was about the person he would end up with.

“I know that it’s not exactly the same as your situation but –”

“No!” Baekhyun immediately interrupts Kyungsoo. “No, you’re right! How did I not think of this before?”

Kyungsoo gently smiles and takes Baekhyun’s hands into his. “You’ve been so deeply buried under the big pile of fear you’ve collected over the years that you’ve forgotten how to think when you finally break free.”

“Oh my God, you’re so right, you’re so, so right,” Baekhyun keeps shaking his head in disbelief until the obvious thing enters his mind. “Hey, Kyungsoo, could you cover for me for a while? I can’t wait another minute to finally get this off my chest.”

Kyungsoo lets his hands go while smiling. “Please, I would personally push you out of this building if you decided to stay here even one minute longer.”

~

The plan is simple. Baekhyun knows where Jongdae works, he still remembers the address from that one time he searched for the school. Getting a cab is not a problem and the traffic is not that bad so in 10 minutes he’s standing in front of the building.

Perfect.

However, the simplicity ends here, and the hole in his master plan appears.

While Baekhyun thought a lot about what he was going to say to Jongdae in the cab, he didn’t bother to actually figure out how he’s going to find him. He was so excited and impatient that it didn’t occur to him that he is not in a romantic movie and Jongdae probably won’t just come out of the building the moment Baekhyun gets there.

He scratches his head. Boy, is he in a pickle…

First of all, he doesn’t even know if Jongdae has any lessons in the morning. Thus, he cannot be sure if he’s even in the school. Second of all, even if he somehow knew his schedule, he couldn’t just barge into a classroom full of Jongdae’s students and confess in front of all of them. Once again, he is not a main protagonist of a romantic movie. So that leaves him with the only option: Jongdae has to be on a break, otherwise all this has been futile.

He takes a deep breath and opens the entrance door.

He’s off to a good start. The halls seem empty, which is good. He doesn’t need dozens of children running around and looking at him curiously. So he takes a few steps forward while scanning his surroundings very carefully.

“Can I help you with something?”

Baekhyun startles and starts looking around in confusion. Then he finally registers an elderly lady who’s eying him sceptically.

Apparently, he hasn’t been careful enough or, possibly, he’s been so very careful that he’s missed the school office right on his left.

“Umm,” is the only sound that leaves Baekhyun’s mouth.

“Umm? Young man, can I ask what your intentions are? Because you certainly don’t seem like someone whose child would go to a school like this.”

Baekhyun doesn’t understand for a second but then he looks down at his rather expensive suit and everything starts making sense to him. He came overdressed.

“I… I’m looking for a friend. A friend who works here.”

“A friend who works here? So why don’t you call that friend and arrange a meeting with them somewhere else? These are school premises, you know, not some club for yuppies like you.”

 “Umm… I don’t actually have his number and this is kind of an emergency so…”

“He’s your friend and you don’t have his number?” the elderly lady raises her eyebrow. “Young man, I’ve never experienced anything so questionable and I’ve been working as a school secretary for more than half of my life.”

“I’m so sorry, I… let me explain, please!” Baekhyun can very intensely feel the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “We haven’t known each other for that long and I haven’t had the change to get his phone number but I swear to you that something important has happened and I need to talk to him about it as soon as possible.”

“Hmm,” the lady hums, torturing Baekhyun even more. “Okay, let’s say for a moment that I actually believe you. What’s the name of that friend of yours?”

“It’s Jongdae. Kim Jongdae.”

Suddenly that lady’s expression changes from distrustful to somewhat curious. “Kim Jongdae. Well, that sounds possible given your age. And what’s your name?”

Baekhyun wonders for a moment why she needs to know that but knows better than to start asking unnecessary question. “Byun Baekhyun.”

The lady simply nods as if she has already expected that would be the answer. “Mr. Kim is in his office right now. After you turn right it’s the third door on your left.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun says, still confused about the sudden change in her demeanour. “Thank you for your help.”

“No problem, dear. Just keep it short, the classes end in 15 minutes.”

“S-Sure.”

Baekhyun watches the elderly lady smile at him and get back to the office. He hesitates for a moment about what to do because it all seems pretty strange. But then he realizes there’s no time to stand there and question everything.

He quickly takes off but still looks over his shoulder just to be sure that the lady is not calling the cops or something. One never knows.

As nothing of that sort seems to be happening, he follows her directions and soon reaches the door the lady was talking about.

And there it is, Jongdae’s name written on it.

Oh my God, he’s so sweaty, his hands are clammy, his hair must be a complete mess, and don’t even get him started on how wrinkled his suit is.

This is a disaster.

Maybe it was a bad idea to rush here the first place. Maybe it would be better to wait a day or two to collect his thoughts properly.

Yeah, he should totally do that! He should hide in his apartment for a few days and come up with the perfect plan how to make everything right.

Perfect, perfect, he’s a genius!

“Oh come on! Pull yourself together!” he whispers slash yells at himself.

It’s pointless to start second guessing all of his decisions now. He’s standing in front of Jongdae’s door and he needs to grow a pair and tell him how he feels.

He promptly knocks at the door before he can change his mind.

“Come in.”

This is it. This is _the_ moment.

He hesitantly opens the door.

And then there’s Jongdae sitting at his table, wearing glasses… _oh my, who knew he wore glasses_ , Baekhyun gapes… and grading some papers. The light coming through the window makes his hair appear lighter than usual and Baekhyun notes that he really likes that shade.

Before he knows it, Jongdae is looking up at him.

“Baekhyun? What the… what are you doing here?”

“I came –” Baekhyun cleans his throat nervously. “I came to tell you that I’ve found a glass marble.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Leave it to Baekhyun to screw up his whole punch line. “Ah, no, I meant… I meant to say that I came to tell you that you’re a glass marble. And that I’m lucky that I’ve found you.”

That obviously still wasn’t comprehensible enough because Jongdae takes off his glasses and slightly shakes his head. “I’m sorry but I don’t know what you’re trying to say by that.”

“I’m trying to say that you’re iridescent,” Baekhyun breaths out. “You remind me of a glass marble so much. Every time I see you I notice a different shade of your personality and it’s never-ending.  But the craziest thing is that I like all of those shades. All of them have taken my breath away for some reason. And I can’t explain why because you can do the most simple thing in the world but it’s like I’ve just discovered a new colour or pattern and it’s mesmerizing. Every single time.”

And now Jongdae is standing up. He’s looking into Baekhyun’s eyes, listening to his every word, holding his breath. He’s trembling. Baekhyun wants to hug him but not yet – he needs to hear Jongdae’s answer before he touches him.

“I don’t understand. I thought I was the only one who felt like that.”

Jongdae is holding back his tears, Baekhyun can tell.

“And you were, in the romantic kind of way. I was fascinated by you but I didn’t want to admit to myself that it was because I felt something for you.”

“But you –” Jongdae’s breath hitches. “But you are scared of commitment. I don’t want to push you into anything.”

“You are not pushing me into anything. I’m still terrified of relationships and commitment and everything that comes with it. But I’ve also realized that it doesn’t sound that terrifying when I imagine experiencing all that stuff with you.”

Jongdae blinks a couple of time in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“Completely. I’m aware that we don’t know each other that well and that this all sounds kind of crazy but as I said – I’ve found a glass marble. And don’t want to let it go.”

This time it is Jongdae who initiates their kiss – a sweet and tender kiss which tastes kind of salty though because Jongdae was unable to hold back his tears in the end.

~

That evening Jongdae is sitting on Baekhyun’s comfortable sofa with a glass of white wine in his hand while Baekhyun is trying his best to prepare some kind of acceptable dinner in the kitchen. So far it looks like they will have to settle for a platter with bunch of random stuff on it.

“Are you sure you don’t want my help?” Jongdae suddenly appears in the kitchen area and leans against the wall.

“Yes, I’m positive. Go sit down, it’ll be done in a minute.”

“If you say so,” Jongdae smiles, leaving a small kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek before he goes back and sits on the sofa again.

Baekhyun then somehow manages to make the platter look at least a bit fancy and places it on the coffee table with pride.

“Baekhyun, I have one question,” Jongdae suddenly announces as they are eating.

“Sure, what is it?”

“When are we telling our mothers and Chanyeol that they were right?”

 _Oh boy_ , Baekhyun thinks to himself. The plan was simple, oh so simple, and it worked. It all seemed so flawless. And yet he totally failed to consider the aftermath of the success.

But that’s okay. It really is okay because now he’s got his glass marble right next to his side and that’s all that matters to him.

 


End file.
